Alison Hodgson

Expert on the etiquette of perilous times.

Checking In

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Paul is in Orlando today. He got up this morning at 4:30, flew out at 6:30 and will be back tonight after 10. I really admire how hard he works and without complaint. He just tries to keep all the balls in the air. I need to check in with him more about what is going on at work so that I can support him, if only with compassion and understanding. (Aside to Paul: Dude check in with me too. Help a girl help you.) Fortunately I was paying attention last night and realized that a lot of demands were being placed on him professionally and so I was for him rather than trying to load more things on his back.

It’s so easy to be myopic.

I had a good day writing, Tuesday, great really. I finished an essay that I am going to speak from next week. Later that night I began to panic because the talk I am giving for our writer’s conference on the 12th isn’t done yet. Spent yesterday worried but have since begun figuring out how to make the time between school, my mom’s birthday, tomorrow, Christopher’s friend party, Saturday and family party and actual birthday, Sunday.

I have felt agitated, tired and weepy all day and all day I’ve been telling myself I have no reason (not pre-menstrual, had a decent night’s sleep) to feel this way instead of being curious why I am.

Today would have been my dad’s 69th birthday. Although I am not consciously upset about it, some part of me is mourning.

I don’t have a snappy finish to this. The kids need to be fed and the barking dog reprimanded. Will feed the hungry and discipline the naughty, do some of my work and then welcome my husband home. when he arrives.

A picture of my day

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Note the rug kicked back from the door, the toys piled beside, the flip flops in front and the barking dog on the other side. You might also note the measuring cup (for the dog’s food) peeking out from under the couch, the junk piled up on the chair and, if you are feeling strong, the deck.

But the man is coming home today and then, after a few hours in the office tomorrow, is on vacation for a week. I plan to pick through the rubble this weekend while he is around to mind the children and the dog.

I want to live in that place where order and tidiness do not involve child abuse, but I have learned through extensive research, that Day 9 of Paul out of the country is not the day to try.

Alpha Dog

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When we made the appointment for Jack’s castration (let’s just call it what it is) I knew it was on the fourth anniversary of my father’s death. I wanted it done on a Friday so that Paul would be home over the weekend to help with any complications or difficulties. What I didn’t know was that some guy in Europe was going to get fired necessitating Paul’s boss to go to Germany and Paul to go to Taiwan in his place. Fantastic.

Since this trip came out of nowhere, in the middle of a busy time, punctuated by a couple puppy medical emergencies, it was only a few days before Paul left that I remembered I would be handling this gig solo. All I could do was sigh.

Until the vet mentioned it this morning, the cone was not on my radar. “How long will he have to wear it?” I asked.

“Five days,” she said, but it might as well have been fifty. Oh Sweet Tallulah Belle!

“He’s going to be a tired boy tonight,” she said and I mentally crossed Day One off the list.

At that moment he was practically frothing at the mouth in his excitement to greet and sniff sniff sniff her hands. He knows that to say hello he has to stay DOWN and OFF. He’d pop a squat and then hop up, jump and lunge, drop down for a second and then repeat the cycle, his tail a constant wag. He finally settled down long enough for her to greet him.

I told her about the way he will whine and bark if he is separated from me by more than ten feet.

“You’re clearly his Alpha Dog,” she said and then gave me some tips on how to deal with it.

I just thought he was a Mama’s boy.

Tonight when we picked him up (at 5:50, thank you very much) I could hear his loud barking from the back.

“He hates the cone,” the receptionist said, “I felt so bad when we put it on. He has such a cute little face. I just love him.”

People who work with animals tend to be kindly souls and I find that they project their own generosity of heart and love for animals on the people who choose to own them. I am grateful for this goodwill.

The vet came out as I was trying to settle the bill and restrain Jack who was bashing his cone into everything and everyone.

“He’s not as sleepy as I’d like,” she said.

You and me both, Sister.

It has been a chaotic night but I’m used to that. As the Alpha Dog to this puppy and, while Paul’s gone, the household in general, I can handle it.