Alison Hodgson

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Archives for August 2011

August 26, 2011 by Alison Hodgson 2 Comments

I’m fighting the blues today.

It isn’t one particular thing, but probably the toll from sustained uncertainty and stress.

I’m going to go work in what’s left of my garden.

I became a gardener when I was pregnant with Lydia and in the long process of diagnosing Christopher.  It was a hard pregnancy.  I was in constant pain and refused to take anything because I was really clear that birth defects were for real and I wasn’t taking any chances.

I remember putting Christopher down for a nap and then going outside and digging.  My first attempts at gardening were beyond ignorant.  I transplanted violets!  But it was therapy as much as it was home improvement.  I couldn’t control anything it seemed, but you better believe I could move around some plants.  I could show them where to go.  I could dig deep and uproot anything I wanted.

How do you surrender to provision and grace?

How do you simultaneously hold on and let go?  I can’t always find the sweet spot.

Today, in the face of tremendous blessings, I feel despair.

I’m so weary.

So I’m going to put on my work clothes and invite a child or two to help me prune and dig.

https://alisonhodgson.com/2011/08/183/

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