Alison Hodgson

Expert on the etiquette of perilous times.

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Sorry about the crabby post I had up there so long.

The last few weeks have been divided into times of extreme activity and complete inactivity. A freer mind might categorize these divisions under the categories of work and rest, but I find myself telling people that we’re having a really lazy summer…and then I remember that we’re in the midst of painting the exterior of the house and staining the pool and garden sheds, that Lydia and Eden moved into Paul’s and my former bedroom and we moved into Eden’s and are making a study out of Lydia’s which was/is a ton of work: decluttering, cleaning and painting; that we recovered our driveway with pea stone, that we still need to haul a few trailer fulls of mulch, not to mention lay them and that any summer which involves such copious amounts of yard and pool maintenance could never be categorized as lazy.

Christopher and Eden are saying so many funny and brilliant things I can’t keep up with them. Lydia is only 11, but looking 15 which is seriously freaking me out! I have a funny Christopher story to post. I woke yesterday at 4:30 and wrote for a couple of hours. Just getting a story out takes time – and that’s slap dash writing. Painting the exterior of the house and Lydia’s room are jockeying for position. Weather’s going to decide that one – but I CAN.NOT.WAIT to have my big desk downstairs and have a home for my computer and papers and notes and files and all the books I like to have close.

Last fall, when we stayed at that cottage, I realized that I can handle maintaining furniture and books. Society demands clothes and the family insists on eating – but that’s my bottom line. I’m not buying any more stuff.

Look for a good Christopher post tomorrow-ish.

https://alisonhodgson.com/2009/07/281/

There are surprises and then there are SURPRISES…

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We have established a new chore system inspired by my good friend, Sherry.  It’s brilliant.  Work is completely voluntary and the payment is in poker chips which can be exchanged for money or screen time.  There is immediate feedback as well as positive peer pressure.  Since it is voluntary there is no coercion and since any computer, video or T.V. viewing depends on it, there is motivation.  One of my favorite aspects is that the kids can earn one chip a day just for keeping their rooms clean.  How brilliant that they are learning that a little work, every single day, pays off royally.  

Christopher is living paycheck to paycheck, but his room is neater than it has been in years with nary a nagging from me nor a bit of help.   Lydia’s room is always clean and now she is reaping the reward for that as well as her innate industry.  Most wonderful of all is that I am getting my house cleaned as my kids are developing a good work ethic.  The big kids have lots of options but it’s been a little harder finding jobs for Eden.  There are a couple that we reserve for her like picking up all of Jack’s toys at night and using the hand vacuum on the floors, but that’s about it.  Because of this, and frankly for my own sake, I’m not holding her to the limitations on screen time.  The other day I was exhausted and allowed her to watch a couple videos.  Again, there’s a payoff: normally the big kids would be fussing about her selections, but this time they were just thrilled that the viewing was free.
Despite her exemption from the general system, Eden is throwing herself right into it.  Last night I noticed her hustling off with the Swiffer but didn’t really think about it.  Later I heard her banging around near her bedroom and ignored that as well.  It was only when I heard a gush of water hitting a floor that I paid attention.  She was in the half bath with the door shut.  I opened it and quickly took in the sight of her shoving the Swiffer around – just the rubber, no pad – the floor swimming in puddles of water, dust and Jack’s fur.  Oh the humanity!
“I’m cleaning the bathroom,” she announced with pride, “to earn a chip!”
“Honey, you need to check with me before you start a job.”
“But I wanted to SURPRISE you!”
I sighed.  What do you say to that?  I grabbed a towel and told her to dry the floor.  As she lay down in a puddle to reach, I shuddered and checked out the rest of her work.  The sink looked very clean and tidy.  Her toothbrush and paste were carefully set on one side and on the other she had neatly arranged a bar of hand soap and some flossers on a floral plate.  Soon the towel and the mopper were sopping.  As I delivered it to the laundry room, Eden stretched out on my bed for a rest and soaked it down to the mattress. 
Not so cheerfully, I shooed her off to get fresh pajamas then fetched fresh sheets and the hair dryer.

Checking In

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Paul is in Orlando today. He got up this morning at 4:30, flew out at 6:30 and will be back tonight after 10. I really admire how hard he works and without complaint. He just tries to keep all the balls in the air. I need to check in with him more about what is going on at work so that I can support him, if only with compassion and understanding. (Aside to Paul: Dude check in with me too. Help a girl help you.) Fortunately I was paying attention last night and realized that a lot of demands were being placed on him professionally and so I was for him rather than trying to load more things on his back.

It’s so easy to be myopic.

I had a good day writing, Tuesday, great really. I finished an essay that I am going to speak from next week. Later that night I began to panic because the talk I am giving for our writer’s conference on the 12th isn’t done yet. Spent yesterday worried but have since begun figuring out how to make the time between school, my mom’s birthday, tomorrow, Christopher’s friend party, Saturday and family party and actual birthday, Sunday.

I have felt agitated, tired and weepy all day and all day I’ve been telling myself I have no reason (not pre-menstrual, had a decent night’s sleep) to feel this way instead of being curious why I am.

Today would have been my dad’s 69th birthday. Although I am not consciously upset about it, some part of me is mourning.

I don’t have a snappy finish to this. The kids need to be fed and the barking dog reprimanded. Will feed the hungry and discipline the naughty, do some of my work and then welcome my husband home. when he arrives.

Twenty-first day of school

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The pool is blue! Paul and I can, once again, hold our heads high…well in this regard.

School is out. We got a late start, but worked hard and and finished early. We still haven’t moved our schoolroom back upstairs. Today I called every one up to help me carry the cedar shingles downstairs. Why did we have cedar shingles? Brace yourself. Just because walls of every sort of paneling, faux brick and faux rock were not enough, the former owners just had to have a wall of cedar shakes.

If I was that sort of blogger I would have taken extensive before pictures…I didn’t. Picture hideous and be satisfied. You can’t handle the truth. I certainly couldn’t. The kids and I are going to be redoing our schoolroom this week. A month ago they help me remove the shingles. Today we put them in the garage and tore out the carpet in the front of the room. Our upstairs is one giant 55 foot long room, but about a third of the way down there is a step up. We have the declared the schoolroom the first third and plan to take down the wallpaper, paint the paneling, the walls and the floor and, hopefully, have a skylight installed and call it good for now.

I want to do this with the kids, for this to be our project and to have fun working together. Paul and I were both taught that work is long, arduous and fraught with anger, frustration, bitterness and fear. We started to teach what we knew and then decided to learn something new. We’ve been working on our work ethic the last year. I want the kids to know that work is just another way of being together and that we all – oh dear I am beginning to sound like a bad corporate employee campaign – who cares.

What if I really believed that Together Everyone Achieves More? Seriously, what if my kids, and Paul and I really GOT that there is a work God has begun in us as this little family and that it will only be brought to fruition as we love and value each other, as we fully receive each other. That’s what I want. I want my kids to know that together we have a work, that only we get to do and I want us to look for it and then do it with joy.