Christopher is preparing for school in the fall or rather the school is preparing for him. We are busily scheduling and attending assessments to create a plan and determine necessary accommodations. Accommodations is special ed speak for a little help.
Yesterday he had his first assessment, this one for speech and language. Before we left I was talking to my sister Torey on the phone. I told her I was a little worried.
“As well you should be,” she said.
‘I’m afraid they’re going to tell me I’m a rotten teacher – no they won’t even give me that, they’ll go right to, “You are a terrible mother!'” We laughed picturing me crumpling to the ground sobbing. My potential humiliations are a minefield for our amusement.
At the school the therapist assured me that it wouldn’t take long. She left me in the lobby and bustling off to her office, Christopher loping after her. Before I knew it they were back and she was beaming. His speech (meaning his ability to speak, i.e. his pronunciation and articulation) was great and his language (vocabulary) was fantastic. The therapist has never had a child with hearing issues score as highly as Christopher did. She was almost giddy when she showed me the results. “YOU have done an excellent job teaching him, ” she said, clutching my arm.
I didn’t quite swoon into the river of adulation remembering that his math skills had yet to be considered.
She explained the test to me. To start she had administered it the normal way. She would say the word in question and he would point to an appropriate picture. He wasn’t doing terribly well, which wasn’t a surprise to her, but I think she was having to repeat herself, so she changed her approach. She decided to write the word down and allow him to read them. From that point he knew every one and he almost completed the list before the time ran out. The therapist has never had a student get that far before.
“He is very bright! We just need to make sure he can hear what is being said.” Bingo. We talked about possible accommodations.
She showed me the words he had missed: carpenter, canister and appliance. These were right before she began to write the words. I was surprised that he didn’t know these, but knew it was possible. He knows every appliance in our home (and read many of the owner manuals) but I wasn’t sure I ever referred to them collectively as appliances and that was the sort of word he might not come across in his extensive reading.
I explained this to the therapist. “Do you have canisters?” She asked. We don’t, at least not on the counter and it’s possible that word has never been used in our home either. I called Christopher over and pointed to the list.
“Do you know what this is?”
“Oh,” he said gesturing with his hand as he does when he’s searching for words, “it’s a container you use when you want to seal something.”
“He knows it!’ The therapist hissed.
I pointed to the word carpenter, “What’s this?”
“Someone who cuts wood,” more hand gesturing, “and builds things, like houses.”
“Do you know any carpenters?” I asked.
“Uncle David.” I nodded.
I looked at the therapist who was beaming. “His score is even higher!” He knew appliances too.
We showed Christopher where his age was recorded as well as the age he was assessed for language. “You won’t need to meet with me!” The therapist said.
Next week he has several more assessments and then there will be the formal meetings where everything is taken into account and plans are made. I have been his mother for over 13 years, his special ed advocate for 8 and his full time teacher for 4. I finally feel equipped to interpret all the testing, consult with the specialists, consider recommendations from the administrators and discuss and pray everything over with Paul. And finally, this is what I truly believe; that God is going to guide us because Christopher has a hope and a future. It’s not all up to me.
I have travelled the long way round to this conclusion, but I can’t look back and shame myself. I’m just happy to be here now.
The scene: a large and echoey gymnasium
The Players:
Eden H. – perennial Kindergarten dropout candidate
Christopher H. – her escort, a friendly lad, though prone to impetuous acts
Alison H. – a kindly lady, put in the position of grilling scared Kindergartners in reading Chinese whilst their parents crowded around recording them and her, which precluded supervising the players named above.
Did anyone think this was going to be a success?
Anyone?
It wasn’t.
A little of this, a smidgeon of that
Babies, (She said with a Ukrainian accent)
I have been very busy:
Reading American history and watching it unfold.
Cleaning (OK not as busily) and watching that unfold (not dramatically like history but messily like laundry) as well.
Neducating Christopher, helping with the neducation Lydia is getting at school and keeping Eden from becoming the first Kindergarten dropout in our family history – some historical firsts aren’t so grand.
Today it is cold and grey, here in Michigan. Christopher and I are going to Eden’s school today to celebrate Chinese New Year. There will be a little bit of singing and then a sort of carnival, although I used that term very carefully because Eden scoffed when she found out there wasn’t going to be any inflated plastic jumping things. There are going to be little stations where the kids can walk around and do different things to win tickets which can be turned in for little prizes. Some of the stations are Chinese language related and I was assigned to one of those. With another parent who is Chinese speaking we will give the kids a chance to name the Chinese characters they know. Christopher is going to escort Eden to all the different stations.
This is an avoidance of a self-imposed deadline. I hope everyone is well and coping with the winter the best they can.
We are happy and well, though some of us are a bit fragile because not all of us are here – if you know what I mean.
I don’t know what I am going to do about January though. You give a month some loving praise and then it’s right back to its nasty ways.
I’ll keep you posted.
The lad on the right, C. Riley H. is our designated dishwasher unloader…again. When Paul lowered the wage to one chip some harsh words were exchanged and Christopher went on strike. I had grown accustomed to the dishwasher being unloaded as soon as it was clean and was not really happy that Paul had mucked up employee relations. He crossed the picket line to empty the dishwasher himself.
One day, a couple weeks into this labor morass, I showed Christopher a very full and clean dishwasher. He started to lift his palm to politely refuse when I said, “This is so full it’s a two chip job.”
His eyes lit up, “That’s great! Two chips will definitely do!” And then he set to work whistling happily. After that I continued to employ him on a contract basis until he was back in the habit. Once he tried to say it was a three chip job, but I just looked at him and he backed down.
This morning I opened a cupboard and a large pyrex baking pan came flying out. I shrieked and jumped as it shattered at my feet.
“I guess I shouldn’t have placed it there.” Christopher said quietly.
I looked down at the chunks and shards of glass that had landed in two hallways, the kitchen and a bathroom and shook my head.
Guess not.
A few months ago I mentioned a chip system we have implemented here wherein chores are voluntary and screen time has a price. The kids do chores of their own choosing to earn chips which they can exchange for cash or for time on the computer or watching a movie. In short, we became a free market economy.
Before this, one of Christopher and Lydia’s daily responsibilities was emptying the dishwasher, a task they shared. When I was establishing the pay for routine chores I set this at one chip which is equal to $.50 or half an hour screen time. Neither kid wanted to do it. I didn’t say anything for several days, but emptied it myself knowing that eventually someone (I suspected Christopher) would get desperate and take it on.
I neglected to mention this to Paul. One morning he opened the dishwasher, noted that it was clean and asked if either of the big kids wanted to empty it. Both declined. I can’t remember if he asked why, but he figured out that the pay was too low and before you could say “What the…!” he raised it to two chips. Christopher immediately set to work, whistling happily.
I dragged Paul into the bedroom and asked him exactly what he thought he was doing. “Babe, the market wouldn’t bear one chip, so I raised it to two.”
“I knew that!” Then I explained to him how I was waiting it out. “You just nullified that AND sent them the message that, if they want to get more money, they should just wait ME out.”
He was appropriately penitent and promised not to undermine my labor negotiations in the future. He suggested resetting the pay but I told him not to bother.
For months I have had my dishwasher emptied without having to ask to the sound of a happy boy whistling. It has been worth every penny.
Tonight Paul, again without conferring with me, announced to the kids that the price was being reset to one chip. Lydia was nonplussed as she is a saver and a young tycoon. Christopher was appalled and I think he went into shock. When I walked into the room he asked me if I agreed. Since Paul and I try to be a united front before the kids, I simply asked, “What did your dad say?”
He staggered back and burst into tears. Remember, the lad is thirteen, but he’s not keeping it inside; he’s not going to hide his feelings.
Sobbing loudly he managed to speak, “I have made a fortune on that and now, POOF! It’s all gone.”
Denial, bargaining and then right into anger.
I’ll let you know if he makes it to acceptance.
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