Alison Hodgson

Expert on the etiquette of perilous times.

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How to Climb the Tallest Tree and Walk the Longest Road

June 4, 2012 by Alison Hodgson 1 Comment

This maple is the meeting place I established, years ago, in case of a fire.  Thankfully, the morning our house was set on fire, we fled our home together and yet, without thinking, ran to the designated maple.

I’d like to highlight this: take a second, make a plan and then picture yourself enacting it. I know that doesn’t seem like enough, but it’s amazing what kicks in in an emergency.

We’re in the final days of school.  Last weekend both of the big kids had a lot of homework, mostly studying for finals this week. Christopher is doing much better with personal organization and self-motivation, but still benefits from re-direction. After church yesterday I couldn’t find him and asked Paul if he knew where he was.

“I thought I heard him out front.” Paul said.

I had scanned the front yard and there was no sign, but then I heard Christopher’s distinctive voice from a strange distance. I walked outside and there he was.

Between the fire and the rebuild we lost four mature maples, one of which was the kids’ second climbing tree that Eden never got to climb. To climb this tree, even the big kids need a ladder to get to the lowest branches. Yesterday Christopher nailed a few boards and scrabbled up into the highest branches. From this aerie he shouted at birds and passing cars. He was delighted when I found him and took his picture.

“The boards I nailed are not very secure.”  He said. I walked around the tree and saw them. They were too small and his big feet had pushed them up and down—not secure at all—and yet he got up as high as the tree would hold him.

Here Christopher is outside of church with his portable loom. One of his electives this semester was a ceramics class and they’re finishing out the year with a weaving project.  All week long he has been dragging this loom around everywhere in order to meet the deadline when they are cutting and binding their hangings in class today.

We had him take ceramics because we were looking for an elective that was hands on and didn’t have a lot of homework. His support teacher was nervous because this art teacher runs a very tight ship and has been known to kick kids out of her classes with the slightest provocation. I pushed a little and the support teacher met with the art teacher who, when she heard about Christopher, said “This class will be perfect for him.” And it has.

His other elective this semester was theater which was selected for the same reasons as ceramics, but has not gone as ideally. The entire class culminates in a series of one act plays the students produce. I assumed Christopher would do something technical and behind the scenes and was surprised to learn he was cast in one of the plays. As I ran lines with him I was even more surprised he had the largest part.

“How did this happen?” I asked.  I couldn’t believe the teacher assigned him the most lines.

“I chose it. But it is a decision I now regret.” He said.

He plays “Death” opposite “Life”, “Youth” and “The Girl”. It’s a terrible play and “Death” is the biggest and best part, which should tell you something. Youth and The Girl are would-be suicides. Death and Life throw the die for both their lives and Life wins. You will wish she didn’t; they’re both so horrible.

“I think my classmates are going to be surprised at how well I know my part.” He has been the weakest link up until now and his fellow thespians have been giving him some push back.  Yesterday we focused on pacing and interpretation, which we will continue  tonight and tomorrow.

When you first understand that your child has special needs, it can feel like your path has been diverted. Of course parents of a typical child will tell you that there are turns in every road.  And yet, with a child with special needs, the journey can be so arduous with no end in sight. The relationship continually changes (hopefully!) and evolves (more hope!) but is it ever really over—for any parent—until it’s over?

Four more days of tenth grade.

Further up and further in.

Filed Under: About a Boy, Christopher, hope, how to prepare for a house fire, school, Thanksgiving

April 28, 2010 by Alison Hodgson 2 Comments

In Michigan you can never say with certainty when winter is over and spring has begun, regardless of what the calendar might assert. And yet in March, with the milder days and increasing sun, most of us find cause for hope, but this year Christopher found cause for mourning.

“My hope for having snow days is now lost,” he said to me out of the blue. I nodded thoughtfully and, I hoped, neutrally; it’s rude to rejoice in another’s suffering.

“Now I have to hope for bus accidents or whatever.”

https://alisonhodgson.com/2010/04/250/

Filed Under: Christopher, laughter, school

A Couple of Kindergarteners

October 6, 2008 by Alison Hodgson 1 Comment

This was taken just a month ago, the evening before the girls’ first day of school.  I asked them to show me their “Kindergarten smiles”.

And they certainly did.
They are doing well and yet both of them want to drop out.  Eden prefers to stay at home and Ren has been disappointed to discover that school’s not as fun as she imagined.
I don’t think there is a word big enough to describe how I feel about these girls, but adore is a good place to start.

Filed Under: love, school, The Legumes

September 12, 2008 by Alison Hodgson Leave a Comment

Well, Birdie turned a corner Monday.   Between not having to take a general math assessment and getting invited to go with a friend’s family to the football rally tonight she was more than happy.

A couple days ago there was a curriculum night at her school where her teachers explained what the class would be studying and opened it up for questions.  We had met her teacher at open house and Paul and I both liked her immediately.  Lydia loves her.  It was good to check in with her and to learn that she was telling Lydia the same thing we were: the point of school is to learn and that no one cares about her grades if she is working hard.  The math curriculum is different than one we used or even what she studying at her old public school.  It was tough walking through the loneliness and the academic angst with her.  I was having plenty of my own, “What were we thinking sending her back to school in the SIXTH GRADE?/I think I was a cruddy math teacher/mother/human being” angst.
And yet, at the bottom there was peace.  I forget, at times (like always) that following the path you feel compelled to travel does not guarantee ease.  
Tonight Lydia’s going to her friend’s house, Paul’s going to hang out with Christopher and Eden and I are going to have a date with Torey, Ren and Willa.  Ren has been breaking down lately longing for “those days where we saw each other every day”.  I told/warned Eden that Ren was feeling fragile and why.  She looked at me, “So am I!”  When I suggested that she give her cousin a hug she readily agreed, “And it’s OK if we hurt each other because we love each other so much!”
“Do you mean hugging each other so hard it hurts?”
“Yes.”
“Well, you can hug a little gentler than that.”  I told her.
We’ll see if she takes my recommendation.

https://alisonhodgson.com/2008/09/394/

Filed Under: Fridays, Lydia, school, The Legumes

First Day of School

September 5, 2008 by Alison Hodgson Leave a Comment

Here we all are on the way to Lydia’s bus stop, which is at the neighbor’s.  Eden, Christopher and I were already outside documenting her first day, when Lydia came rushing out panicked that we were late.  Christopher shouted something annoying, then Lydia told him to shut up, which provoked him to shout even louder to me that Lydia had told him to shut up and then I shouted at him to shut up and get in the picture.  

Perfect we ain’t.  

Fortunately, we believe in asking for forgiveness and in extending grace, which we did as we walked to the bus stop where we took this next picture.

That’s better.
Do you see that Kindergartner?  Look at that sweet and eager face!  The first day she made friends with every kid in her class and specified Lydia, J.P., Ellie and Sydney.  The second day she was talking about Lydia and Dandy.
“You mean Sydney?”  I asked.
“Oh yeah.”
Today she came home with the sad news that she and Lydia had a fight.  We’re sorting out the details.  Apparently the teacher had to intervene, calling, “Girls, girls that’s not forgive.”
This is.

Filed Under: forgiveness, grace, laughter, love, school

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