Alison Hodgson

Expert on the etiquette of perilous times.

A little of this, not much of that

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We’ve been gardening today.  Lydia took over on a small plot outside our deck with Eden assisting and I began to clean up the 80 foot long bed that borders our back yard.  Christopher hauled the leaves and weeds in the wheelbarrow.  We got about 30 feet into it before Christopher took a promised computer break and I collapsed on a blanket with head rush.  Now we’re twenty minutes from needing to take Lydia to the dentist, so there isn’t enough time to get back at it.

Christopher is slumped at the table overcome by boredom.  It’s tough being a kid, sometimes.
I would love to pass out, for a few minutes as I awoke at three this morning because I was too warm.  I’m only 37, but that waking in the middle of the night has an ominous ring, as any middle aged woman would tell you.  I don’t know what to do with myself.   
I’m making headway with my whole “inch by inch…” while it hasn’t exactly been a cinch, it’s better than trolling the internet avoiding my work.  Paul has been a champ taking over on laundry while the kids and I are cleaning up all of the yards.
No fires, no explosions, no calls to government agencies…a good day.

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The words verdure and verdant are constantly running through my head.

Paul and I walked Jack this morning.  There is one point where we come out of the woods and walk along the fields of a horse farm.  The sun was fresh in the sky and shining across a small pond in the distance.  All we could see was the lush green of the fields surrounded in the distance by woods.  I almost couldn’t take the beauty.
It’s that time of year where I realize that I failed to get the indoors completely ship shape and now it’s time to do yard work and gardening, not to mention the ongoing of school, cooking and laundry.  I am trying to break things down into manageable tasks, choosing to work indoors on crummy days and outdoors on sunny ones.  Saturday I hit some sort of sweet spot of energy and will and worked the entire day organizing closets and drawers.  I haven’t hit it since which is terribly disappointing.
We are also planning a couple of renovation projects and have contacted the contractor who did our kitchen three years ago.  We are trying to budget and prioritize.  One thing I am debating is cutting a door from our dining room into our mud room which also leads to our upstairs.  The idea would be letting western light into the dining room as well as creating flow, as the mud room goes into the living room.  I have only lived in houses with dead ends and would love to have a  circle.  I’ll try to post pictures.  
The main excitement is that we are adding two windows to our kitchen.  This will necessitate the removal of our largest cupboard, which has raised the question a few times, “Are you sure you want to lose all that storage?” To which I reply, “If it means I keep my mind?  Yes.”  Why a claustrophobic who gets depressed from a lack of light bought a home without a lot of windows in a valley surrounded by wooded hills is the question.  I don’t have a reason, but my answer has been to keep cutting holes and putting in windows.
I’m feeling a little dull.  I went to bed quite early last night, but then awoke at one, because the leg swipe I do to establish Paul’s presence came up empty.  Lights were on in the living room and he was playing Wii golf.  His story is that he had been working for a couple of hours and then couldn’t sleep.  He, wisely, turned off the game and we both went to bed, but I awoke again at four because the clock wasn’t face down.  I was not pleased.
I passed out again after we walked Jack, but only slept so we started school slightly behind schedule.  We still finished early – a good day.

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Mini Insomniac

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This was taken several weeks ago, when Paul was out of town, right after my sister’s family returned from Vancouver.  I FOOLISHLY agreed to keep Rendini for a sleep over.  Number 1: a woman whose husband is on another continent should never add to the number of children under her care, especially, Number 2: one who is still on Pacific Time.

This photo was taken after midnight as Ren and I snuggled in for a sleepover.  The kid finally passed out around one.
But who could resist this sweet face?
“I’m happy I’m here.” She said while we were taking pictures.
“Oh, that’s a good one.” She said when we reviewed them.
I think so too.

Day 12

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So I was up until after 3 a.m, which – I’ll just spare you the math – isn’t enough sleep.  I feel like someone dropped a few bricks on my head and gave me some sort of emotional shot.  Anyone who knows me has seen me cry, I’m no stranger to tears and such, but usually I can hold it together about nothing.  I had several little breakdowns today.  One was at dinner, because I was thinking about what a great kid Lydia is.  I had to cover my face.  She came over and gave me a hug and got a little teary herself.

Two others came from running into a former co-worker of Paul’s while we were out shopping. She worked with Paul before he was married and has known Christopher since he was a baby. We haven’t seen her in years and she couldn’t believe what a young man Christopher is now. Her brother is hearing impaired, which I had forgotten, and she gave Christopher a little speech on how her brother has an M.B.A. and is a very successful accountant and that Christopher should never let anything hold him back.  He listened politely and smiled, but I know it has never occurred to him that there is anything holding him back.  He has no self-concept of victimhood from being hearing impaired.  He doesn’t know that he could.  The only thing that bugs him is having to change the batteries on his processor.
“I rah-eally wish that they would make batteries that last longer!”  He will moan, but that’s it. Limited time on the computer has given him more of a sense of oppression than his hearing impairment ever has.
I teared up during Carol’s little speech and out and out cried later telling my sister, Torey, about it.
I also cried after shrieking at Christopher and Eden, who had been at each other’s throats all morning.
I’m not even pre-menstrual.
I really need a good night’s sleep.
This will require me getting up and seeing that Christopher, Eden and Jack are all tucked into bed.  
Wish me well.

Happy Tuesday

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Tonight I resisted the lure of the computer and turned off the light at before 10:00 and quickly fell asleep.

A boy and his dog awoke me at 11:18 because the boy needed instructions for turning off the alarm since he thought the dog needed to go outside one last time.
The dog just wanted to run around the deck and eat poopsicles which he did for a while ignoring the boy’s cries to go to his spot or to come inside.
Finally I stormed out to the living room just as the dog pranced to the door.  The boy and the dog hustled back to bed while I locked up and reactivated the alarm.
It is now 1:47 and if you think I am happy to still be awake…
Well, I’m not.