Kids, it’s getting ugly over here.  I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in at least two weeks.  Last night I got into bed at 7:30 to read to Eden and passed out a little after 8.  I awoke at 11:30 and snuggled next to Paul who obligingly lifted up his arm to give me passage.  

“Were you awake?”  I asked.

“I just went to the bathroom.”

So that was it.  He frequently wakes me up using the facilities despite every ninja like caution, but it gave me pause since I had come to at 9:30 when he had gotten into bed with his laptop and  I asked him time before drifting back to sleep.  This meant he needed up again less than two hours after going to bed.  He’s in his 40’s now, but I was hoping his prostate would make the long haul…or at least to 50.

“I think you need to see a urologist.”  I told him.

“What!”  He removed his arm and rolled over.

I told him my concern.

“What are you talking about!  I haven’t been to the bathroom since I went to bed!”

“You said you just went!”

And then I remembered that I married a madman who frequently talks in his sleep, sounding as lucid as I am until he becomes enraged, starts recanting things he said one minute previously and rolls over in a huff.  This is usually when my amnesia clears and I roll over too feeling maritally doomed.

I was still awake at 4:00 when he got up to use the facilities for real. When he returned I related our earlier exchange.  He laughed and went back to sleep.  I’m not sure when I passed out finally, but I awoke at 10:00 feeling like a brick wall had fallen on my head.    I still feel foggy and grey though the sun is shining and it’s a beautiful day.

On the up side I’m becoming an expert in Roman, early American and 20th century Chinese history, which would be great if I was a professor or something.  My occupation as human/wife/mother/homekeeper doesn’t really have much of a call for varied historical specialties.

“My kingdom (and by kingdom I mean anything I got left) for a horse (and by horse I mean a good night’s sleep)!”  That would be Richard the III on whose character historians sharply disagree…

I forgot I’ve got English history down pretty much cold, as well as the history of the English language and I’m starting to bone up on 16th century Holland…

This is probably a cry for help.