I mentioned the book, “Remember, I Love You” in my last post. It is the story of Charlie Shedd’s (Letters to Karen, Letters to Philip) wife, Martha. She was a very quiet sort of woman but strong and passionate too. One of my favorite stories is when Charlie found what he assumed was a love note on the table until he opened it to read, “Dear Charlie, I hate you. Love, Martha”. Once she returned from her young mothers’ prayer group (!) they had a good clean fight.

Another time she got fed up with an older couple in the church who were talking behind Charlie’s back. She made a pan of pecan rolls and asked Charlie to accompany her to the couple’s home. They were very excited to see their pastor and his wife, especially bearing Martha’s famous rolls. She didn’t waste any time, “It has come to my attention that you have been criticizing Charlie. We have a rule, Charlie and I, that we will not tell a secret, or bother ourselves with public complaint, until we’ve heard it at least five times. Well, your five times have arrived, and I came here to tell you that your are going to shut up! The things you are saying can’t be good for the church , and they most certainly aren’t good for me. From now on, then, when you’re about to criticize my husband, you will remember my rolls and how they came to you. Understand?”

I just love that – dealing with things head on, confronting an awkward situation rather than pretending to be nice and seething with anger and bitterness.

I am clocking out. Sweet dreams.

My eyes are open. I want to live this way all the time.

Paul’s sister and family are staying with us. Last night I saw a book, “Remember, I love you” a memoir on his marriage by Charlie Shedd (“Letters to Karen”, “Letters to Philip”) had been pulled off the shelf and placed on the kitchen counter. This morning it was still there and I asked Kristi if she had been the one to grab it. She had. I love this book because the reader really gets to know Shedd’s wife, Martha, an amazing woman. As my sister-in-law is not a voracious reader I was immediately concerned she wouldn’t read my favorite parts (more later). Planning to read some of them aloud I opened the book and the first thing I saw was the chapter title, “Prevenient Grace” Goodness. Now, I knew when I was musing about preventative grace that I couldn’t have been the first to do so and that there was possibly a theological term for it, but I didn’t know. The chapter is about Shedd’s early days in the ministry when his head was turned by all the feminine adulation he received under the guise of pastoral care. He never did anything inappropriate, but Martha was concerned and he wasn’t. Her prayers for their marriage and commitment to him regardless of his potential actions was ultimately a convicting force.

At the end of the chapter he writes, “Our catechism says, ‘Grace is the free, unmerited love and favor of God.’ Beautiful affirmation, theology at its finest, except possibly for the one addendum. ‘Prevenient grace’ is the addendum, meaning different things to different scholars. But could it ever have any more perfect meaning than this?”

Prevenient/preventative/preventive/anticipatory GRACE is clearly something God wants me to wrap my body/mind/soul and spirit around….to receive. This morning I remembered to ask for it and then within minutes I opened a book and was affirmed. I love it when I can see the hand of God while it is reaching and pushing things in front of me, especially when it touches through seemingly mundane impulses e.g. my sister-in-law wanting a little something to read.

I want to spend the rest of my life exploring and experiencing the grace of God. It seems to be important to Him. I am beginning to understand that.

Martin Mull said being a mother is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain. This morning as I was, ostensibly, sleeping in I had to agree. Now I don’t really think that the children were lining up outside my door to cry, yell, scream or tell long rambling narratives. It just seemed to be so. In addition to three visiting cousins I’m sure Paul did not import a dozen whiny urchins. It only sounded like it.

Lying there, clearly not sleeping in, I thought about my response. My instinct was to come out grumbling about the noise and to make it clear that no real favors had been extended. I chose to get up and be thankful that I had been able to slowly process the chaos and at least remain horizontal a while longer than Paul. I don’t know what it looked like, but I smiled at people, immediately made coffee and then jumped into the juvenile milieu.

At different points in my life I have asked God for His divine pause during my day, say right before I said something terribly hurtful or profane. I haven’t prayed that lately, but I think other prayers are resulting in this exercise again. It is as if He slows down time and gives me a moment to see the terrible choice I am poised to make and then an opportunity to shift. Preventative grace, is what it is.

Why I am beginning to treasure this blogging practice is that I sit down with no clear purpose, think about the latest thing that has occurred, relate it and then God shows up to clarify and seal it within me. I didn’t think about preventative grace until I came to that sentence. Now when I take my vitamins I will remember to ask for anticipatory grace too.

Hope everyone is well today.

for good weather tomorrow. We will be hosting 10 adults and 9 kids tomorrow. The forecast is high of 68 and partly cloudy. My request is mid 70’s and sunny.

We have family in town and I am busy cooking, cleaning and socializing.

Two little girl cousins are begging me to turn off the computer as they are having a big girl sleep over in the office/guest room.

Be back soon.