FYI to all the pregnant ladies

“That’s not appropriate.” Eden said yesterday at the health food store.

She was pointing to a bottle of stretch mark cream that featured a seemingly nude pregnant woman resting on her side. The model’s arms were draped over her breasts and the picture was taken at such an angle that the focus was on her large bare stomach with everything else obscured. I’m sure the marketers were going for the sensuous beauty of pregnancy (especially if you bought their cream!) But that didn’t cut it with Eden, the self-assigned arbiter of all things appropriate.

Once home, as I put away the groceries, I overheard her shouting to Jack, “Sniff my bottom! Sniff my bottom!”

“Stop that!” I shouted.

“It’s appropriate, Mom! This is how dogs communicate.”

“But you are not a dog.” I said, heading for laundry room where Jack’s kennel is and the scene of this canine psychology clinic.

She met me half-way down the hall. “He had already sniffed it.” She said matter of factly.

So there you have it pregnant ladies:

Nude pictures, even those tastefully modest? No, never.

A dog smelling your nethers? Absolutely.