Alison Hodgson

Expert on the etiquette of perilous times.

Archives for January 2009

An Open Letter to January II

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Dear January,

Well done.  We are in double digits and the sun is shining.  I hope you noted that there were absolutely no complaints from we when it was below zero and sunny, nor when it was grey and snowing.  I am willing to give too.  This is a relationship and we both know this is not Florida; it’s Michigan.  
In review:
Grey and wickedly cold – never
Wavering between snow and rain, i.e. sleet – no good
Nose searing cold, no snow and grey skies – don’t even think about it
Nose searing cold and sunny skies – acceptable
Crisp cold and sunny skies – excellent
Grey skies and a soft and gentle snowfall – perfectly fine
Thank you for your consideration.  I know we exchanged some harsh words whilst working this out – that’s what the professionals call “tough love”.  I am committed to you even when you are stupid and thoughtless and cause me such needless pain.  I’m not giving up on you – you brought me Eden, for which I will be eternally grateful.
As those High School Musical Kids are always singing, “We’re all in this together”.  And by “all” I mean you, me and the rest of Michigan.
Cordially,
Alison

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Do you know how much I love you?  Is a question I frequently ask Eden and then answer in silly superlatives.  At times, usually when I am tucking her in bed, she will ask me back, but it isn’t every time, so that when she does it is sweet.

Driving home from school today I asked her and then told her, but I can’t remember exactly what I said.
“Do you know how much I love you?  She asked.
I didn’t.
“I love you one hundred, thousand, infinity, googol specks of dust.”
“Specks of love dust?”  I asked.
“Yes.”  She said and then I heard her whisper, “infinity”.
“Infinity”  I whispered back.

https://alisonhodgson.com/2009/01/333/

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The lad on the right, C. Riley H. is our designated dishwasher unloader…again.  When Paul lowered the wage to one chip some harsh words were exchanged and Christopher went on strike.  I had grown accustomed to the dishwasher being unloaded as soon as it was clean and was not really happy that Paul had mucked up employee relations.  He crossed the picket line to empty the dishwasher himself.   

One day, a couple weeks into this labor morass, I showed Christopher a very full and clean dishwasher.  He started to lift his palm to politely refuse when I said, “This is so full it’s a two chip job.”
His eyes lit up, “That’s great!  Two chips will definitely do!”  And then he set to work whistling happily.  After that I continued to employ him on a contract basis until he was back in the habit.  Once he tried to say it was a three chip job, but I just looked at him and he backed down.
This morning I opened a cupboard and a large pyrex baking pan came flying out.  I shrieked and jumped as it shattered at my feet.
“I guess I shouldn’t have placed it there.”  Christopher said quietly.
I looked down at the chunks and shards of glass that had landed in two hallways, the kitchen and a bathroom and shook my head.  
Guess not.

https://alisonhodgson.com/2009/01/334/

Christmas Recap Pre-plague

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This isn’t really a good picture of Birdie, but I have forgotten how to load more than five pictures per post.  Something went wonkie several months ago and then I got busy with something else and then – LOOK THERE’S A CHICKEN!  That’s the punchline to a joke a friend of mine, who does NOT have ADD, likes to tell, poking fun at those who do.  All that to say, I posted this to be democratic to include Lydia and Wizzie in my five allotted photographs.  Ahem.  

This was taken at Mom’s when we celebrated Christmas with Torey’s family before they vaunted off to Canada to spread the plague afurther.  Torey was home sick.  Willa was (allegedly) recovered and was sent with Ren and David to the party.  She is just one little bundle of germs which she (not so happily) spread to all of us.  But we are ignorant of this.  None of us know that the clock on general health and the workings of our most basic processes is ticking.  Oh the humanity!

At least we went out smiling. 

Or staring crazily and scratching our noses.  Whatever.  This picture looked much funnier as a thumbnail.  Too lazy to edit.  Perhaps it’s foreshadow.  Maybe Dave has caught sight of the intestinal degradation that is about to ensue.

I always get a picture of Paul and David sitting together laughing.  Paul has put in fifteen years in the family and David has done six.  It’s good they can still smile.  The funny thing is that both of these lads really wanted to join the clan.  They are both intelligent men and clearly thrill seekers too.

Or maybe it was an experiment in eugenics.  Did both of them know that Torey’s and my genes seem to be entirely recessive?  Perhaps they thought it would be easier than cloning.  They have probably reconsidered, but who can argue that the experiment wasn’t a success?  Certainly not the little revelers pictured above.