So I was up until after 3 a.m, which – I’ll just spare you the math – isn’t enough sleep. I feel like someone dropped a few bricks on my head and gave me some sort of emotional shot. Anyone who knows me has seen me cry, I’m no stranger to tears and such, but usually I can hold it together about nothing. I had several little breakdowns today. One was at dinner, because I was thinking about what a great kid Lydia is. I had to cover my face. She came over and gave me a hug and got a little teary herself.
Two others came from running into a former co-worker of Paul’s while we were out shopping. She worked with Paul before he was married and has known Christopher since he was a baby. We haven’t seen her in years and she couldn’t believe what a young man Christopher is now. Her brother is hearing impaired, which I had forgotten, and she gave Christopher a little speech on how her brother has an M.B.A. and is a very successful accountant and that Christopher should never let anything hold him back. He listened politely and smiled, but I know it has never occurred to him that there is anything holding him back. He has no self-concept of victimhood from being hearing impaired. He doesn’t know that he could. The only thing that bugs him is having to change the batteries on his processor.
“I rah-eally wish that they would make batteries that last longer!” He will moan, but that’s it. Limited time on the computer has given him more of a sense of oppression than his hearing impairment ever has.
I teared up during Carol’s little speech and out and out cried later telling my sister, Torey, about it.
I also cried after shrieking at Christopher and Eden, who had been at each other’s throats all morning.
I’m not even pre-menstrual.
I really need a good night’s sleep.
This will require me getting up and seeing that Christopher, Eden and Jack are all tucked into bed.
Wish me well.
I wish you a deep night’s sleep.
One of those ones that you wake up thinking it’s time to get up, and then look at you your clock with the sweet realisation that you have a couple more hours to go and drift easily back to sleep….
Well, my twitchety soul sister, that would be a miracle – which I do believe in – so there’s hope.
well my dad always said that you need to shoot for the stars, you may just land on the moon…. but it’s better than having gone no place at all