Have you ever had the feeling, in the evening, that you just wish someone – anyone – would come over and put your kids to bed and pick up your house?
If you come over and put my kids to bed and pick up my house, I will tell you what it feels like.
Archives for September 2006
How to get a date
“Maybe some day I will get a date for a party,” Christopher said apropros of nothing.
“Oh really? When do you think that will be?” I asked.
“Maybe when I am a teenager.”
“That’s sort of young…what sort of woman do you think you might want to date?”
“I will dial crazily and when a person answers I will say ‘ARE YOU A WOMAN?’ and if she says yes I will ask, ‘DO YOU WANT TO GO TO A NEW YEAR’S EVE PARTY?'”
I laughed nervously, “Do you really think that is a good idea to randomly call strangers looking for a date?”
“In Garfield John was dating a cheerleader and then he went grocery shopping and she called and Garfield hung up the phone and jumped up and down on the recording…” he dissolved into giggles.
“Why did he jump up and down on the anwering machine?” I had to know.
“Oh because John was eating pizza without him.” And then he walked away.
There you have it: more pearls of wisdom gathered from the comics and filtered through the fertile mind of C. Riley H. Some of you might need it. I mean, it’s Saturday night and if you play your cards right – dial crazily and shout loudly enough you just might get a date with a woman, maybe even a cheerleader.
Theology Question
Is it some mysterious purpose of God or the effects of a fallen world that cause a pre-schooler to awake first thing in the morning with a mouth full of chatter and an immediate need for milk?
The Body, OK this body, needs to know.
Teacher Teacher
I was poring over the world map trying to find Easter Island (way off the coast of Chile – who knew) when Torey asked. “What time do you want to have a lesson today?”
“Oh it’s stuff you already know like longitude and latitude.” I said, thinking she was referring to our geography class.
“Uh, I meant a Pilates lesson,” my Pilates instructor replied.
