The other day I was eagerly listening to something Eden was saying and for a moment I was separate from my love for her. I saw the immensity of it and then had the thought, “And God loves me even more,” and began to cry.
I couldn’t believe it.
Yesterday she was sitting on my lap in a worship service. She has a history of wanting to preach in church but I was hoping she would save her exuberance for the singing. She sat quietly, her little hands folded in her lap and then she exhaled. It was like a sigh and it hurt my heart a little. I felt so tender towards her; even her breath is precious to me.
Later when it was time to sing and dance I held her close and whispered my love, “Oh you are precious to me. You are my treasure. I am so glad you are my girl. I love you.”
She whispered back, “You are presuss to me.”
It would break my heart if she didn’t receive my love, if she couldn’t believe it was true.
…………………..
So I receive your love. This is me sitting on your lap and leaning against you.
This is my quiet exhale.
I have experienced this. Amazing love, how can it be?
To a certain extent I realize I cannot comprehend it. With my big two I had the same glimpses of wonder and recognized that I couldn’t believe that that is the way God cherishes me.
Now I know I can choose to invite the greater love in rather than clinging to my unbelief.
My voice in this post sounds maudlin, but I stuggle to express the awe I feel when pierced by the reality of God.
Not maudlin at all. Awe and Wonder mixed with sweetness.
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