Doodness!

I think that is a Birdie exclamation.

Sooooo I’m working out the kinks of home schooling the kids, cleaning the home, feeding the fam, keeping in touch with the outside world and running a ministry at my church – oh and getting by on less than 6 hours sleep a night. Something is always being neglected. But I am moving down the list. The home is in some semblance of order, I have been turning out some excellent food, this morning I cleared out my 24 saved messages and wrote down all the people I need to call and today we kick off our first MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting. I retired after midnight and got up at 5 a.m. making “Getting more sleep” still on the to do list and I just remembered laundry, which I don’t even want to think about. Home schooling over all continues to go well, but yesterday was one of those days I wanted to leave all the kids on someone’s doorstep in a huge basket. I had one of those headaches that just won’t go away as well as a bunch of phone calls to make and several things to write. The big ones were needling each other and I was thinking, “Am I qualified to run a ministry devoted to the nurture and care of young mothers?”

Late afternoon I hustled them all in the van to run to church to make copies for tomorrow. Our church is in the inner city and something was going down. There were police everywhere. I made my copies without incident. Birdie, who is usually quite reliable in professional situations was touching everything and asking, “What’s this?” On the way out Eden spied the water cooler and asked for a drink. Now those of you in the audience who have parented for more than five minutes are shrieking, “Run, Alison, run!” just as you would at a dim witted movie heroine walking down a dark alley, the end of which contains an axe murderer. I stopped at the water cooler…and allowed the baby to depress the lever!

“Those who forget the past are condemned to relive it” Santyana (anyone can jump in on the spelling here)

This was aptly used as the epigram forwarding “The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich” It could also preface any book on parenting.

But wait, it gets worse. Since my arms were full of at least a billion papers I didn’t want to sully…I let Beanie carry the cup that contained about 6 oz. of water. I know, I know, why didn’t I just give her acid to tote?

We made it to the front door.

I had stopped in the lobby to call a leader on my steering team to find out if she needed me to pick up the newsletters that were waiting. I had a confusing phone call with her husband because he was anticipating what I was saying incorrectly so I had to repeat myself a few times. Mind you, lights are flashing outside and there are a bevy of police officers running around, I had been sweating for hours, my head was throbbing and I was beginning to get that dry mouth feeling that precipitates throwing up. And then the cup dropped or was thrown “On purpose!” according to Birdie’s account.

I am just thankful I uttered no profanities.

Dear Readers, I don’t talk on a cell phone in public. It is a personal code but there I was seemingly chatting away while my children ran amuck. Eden was standing with that surprised look of someone still testing cause and effect,

“Yet again, I throw the cup and its contents (note:this time water) still fly in every direction. Fascinating. Must try at least one more thousand times preferably with juice – red.”

Birdie was clucking around and castigating her while C. Riley was opening the front door, shutting it, then throwing a magazine through the mail slot. Every time the door opened a bell sounded. He managed to do this several times before I grabbed his arm and firmly shut the door.

I finally ended the call and turned to ask for paper when a support person came out with a roll of towels. Do you even know the sort of mess that 6 ounces of water makes. I only had the brown stuff that has the absorbency of sand paper. All four of us were busily wiping the floor when my pastor walked out. We joked about us all being new volunteers and seeing that the floor needed a good polishing. Birdie let him know the truth, “She threw it ON PURPOSE!” Beanie was on her sweet little knees moving water around and didn’t try to defend herself.

I managed to finish drying the floor, return the roll of paper, collect all my copies and hustle the kids out the door.

“Thanks again!” I called over my shoulder.

“Thank you!” Birdie added.

“Sank you!” Beanie ended.

C. Riley was already running to the car.

God help us we were headed to the zoo for a member picnic.

Paul met us there. We parked together and walked in. I concentrated on not throwing up. We ate first which was a challenge for some as we were sitting on a bench very near where a volunteer stood holding a chinchilla. The meal soon finished we all were able to pet the softest fur. The volunteer told us they came from the Andes. We start a book next week about a little boy from the Andes so I made sure both the big kids heard her. Later I saw a map of South America highlighting the Andes which I pointed out and asked them what animal came from there. Birdie couldn’t remember it’s name but knew. C. Riley said, “Llamas” which was news to me but true. I reminded him that the chinchilla was also from that region. We made our way around the various special and regular exhibits. The kids happily ran from place to place, were gentle to all the animals they were allowed to touch and respectful to the many volunteers. My headache was gone and my stomach felt easy.

It was a really pleasurable evening.

Walking about, Birdie grabbed my hand and said, “Mama, I’m sorry for touching all those things at the office. Will you forgive me?”

Of course I did.

I needed to return to church for a meeting for the prayer ministry. I kissed Paul and each of the children good bye and happily made my way to the car and drove slowly and quietly back to church.

………………………………

All right kids I’m out of here! I have a load of laundry to change. Apparently it doesn’t just wash itself.

Oh Bodder, to quote a Bean.