A chitchat with the Almighty

One of the many fantastic things about motherhood is I am constantly given opportunities to see God’s perspective.

For example, when my child just doesn’t get something and s/he really doesn’t care and I want to bash my head on the counter I am so tired and frustrated because this child doesn’t get it and doesn’t give a rat’s bum that s/he does not.

And then God asks, “Uh hello, Alison how do you think it feels being your Father? I keep telling you things and you won’t get it and really don’t care. Yet I love you and chase you and fight for you. I cherish you regardless. Oh and I died for you so you don’t have to stay in your denial with your seared conscience. But do you see me bashing my head against the counter? No.”

And then I say, “True. Very true. But the advantage you have is that your conscience is clear. You know it’s not your fault when I disobey and am not penitent.

I want to throw my hands in the air and say ‘This kid is so difficult’ but I know I have made a lot of mistakes raising this child and therefore share the blame.

But I guess it isn’t about blame.

What am I committed to?

I am committed to relying on you, to loving this child, to knowing that Your joy is my strength, to fighting for this kid, to not giving up, to not getting stuck in guilt and condemnation, to lifting my head and to going in again and trying something new.

And while we are talking I just want to say I love you and I trust you and I have ahold of that peace you promised and I am keeping my hands and arms wide open to get it all. I am going to let it wash over me and cleanse me. I am going to stand in it until it covers me and is so high I am swimming in it.

I am going to float on your peace.

If you want to pour on your love and joy and grace I’ll float on that too.

And just so you know I’m not afraid because if you are for me who can be against me? I know you are for me. You are on my side. I know you’re cheering for me. And so I am going to run this race.

This is me running.

Look Dad! Look how fast I can run!

I know you see me.”