Expert on the etiquette of perilous times.
I have so much to say that any time I try to write I begin to stutter.
I feel tongue-tied
I want to tell you:
a lot of things I’ve been thinking about marriage
about some of the shifts I’ve made in mothering
what I’m figuring out a family can be
about a boy with a tender heart
The Homeschoolers are on Spring Break. Paul’s taking Thursday and has Friday off. Tomorrow we are going to see a puppy.
I know, I know, adding an actual animal to this mix might not be prudent…
Pray for us.
“Is is just my imagination or am I looking remarkably svelte?”
He looked at her. “You look great.”
“You’ve got my attention,” she said, “keep talking.”
The marriage workshop for which Paul and I have been volunteering begins tomorrow. We are both excited and tired. If you think of us through the weekend please pray for us and for our kids at home with my mom.
I am thinking about a lot of things and having trouble articulating them. You know when something shifts so deeply within you, when something you have acknowledged as truth becomes even more real and to say it aloud makes you sound simple, which, in a way, you have become from wonder.
That’s where I am.
There and I haven’t had more than a few full night’s sleep in a month.
I love Aunt Torey and Mom and Dad and Ren and Uncle David and Christopher and Lydia. I love mints and candies we have on this year and I love something that hides in the snow…sticks! And I love love love love love love HEARTS!
Eden A. H. as dictated to her Aunt Torey
Yesterday, just because the cough was gone, the eye was cleared and her ear was not infected, Eden broke out in an all over body rash.
I called the doctor. As I waited on hold for the nurse, my brother-in-law advised an immediate dose of Benadryl, “She’s getting redder by the second.” Eden, oblivious of the scrutiny, stood watching a cartoon, her piggy tails askew, quietly scratching her neck.
The nurse, Barb, got on the phone and we ran the numbers. We ruled out a lot of things, decided who the heck knew and determined a dose of Benadryl. Eden was delighted. She loves the stuff.
I thought I was pretty clear that I am not in control, but it’s getting clearer. I can’t keep this child healthy. I cannot make her sleep through the night. I cannot keep the nightmares away. And so I pray and I pray and I pray and I pray in the face of silence, in the face of exhaustion, in the face of a seeming No, in the face of and over this coughing, crying, itching and scratching, seeping child who asks, every night, her arms wrapped around my neck, “Please pray Mama.”
I do.