Expert on the etiquette of perilous times.
Off and on, all day Paul’s been singing, “Oh sweet Montana, give this child a home,” because we’re here, visiting friends. It’s beautiful. Words fail. We are in a valley cradled by the Rockies. And they aren’t kidding about the Big Sky. Sherry and I drove into town to run an errand, taking a ridicuoulsy scenic route.
I am in love with Montana and a dim and fat little dog who lives here. Sherry and her family are pretty great too.
I’ll report back next week.
Last weekend we were in Chicago attending a friend’s wedding. When we received the invitation, Paul and I went back and forth on taking the kids or having a nice little weekend to ourselves. When these considerations were being made, Paul had just completed a couple of months of whirlwind travel, so both of us were leery of anything that took him away from the kids.
Then there was the certainty that our kids would have all been heartbroken to miss “Miss Lisa’s” wedding, especially because they were all longing to see her dog, Jersey. Jersey is a ten year old Golden Retriever who is an absolute prince of a dog and he’s certainly treated like one. He is playful and obedient and extremely good natured. My kids love him. We hadn’t seen Lisa or Jersey for a couple of years and all the kids would mention them from time to time with a plaintive, “We really need to go visit Miss Lisa and Jersey!” We knew that, at ten, Jers is, if not yet walking to the light, he is definitely getting closer to it and we both knew it would mean a lot to all the children to see him again.
But what really decided it was knowing how much fun we would have at the reception. We all, from Paul down to The Bean, love to dance. Love it. Unfortunately, outside of weddings, there aren’t any venues for a family of five to get down, get down. And so it became a family affair which, with the exception of the cocktail hour that stretched to two when Eden was melting down from tiredness, heat and hunger, we didn’t regret it.
I’ll tell you more later as I need to run and educate the homeschoolers, but I’ll leave you with this: as he slid into his chair at the reception, Christopher said, “I REALLY hope there is dancing so that I can do my signature move.”
I told Lisa this the next day at brunch. She laughed. “He did NOT say ‘signature move’!”
But he did.
Today my friend, Dan, stopped by to pick up some things he’d forgotten after his birthday party and stayed for a little chitchat. Eden sat on my lap coloring while Dan and I talked. One of our main topics was insomnia as I have been going through a long bout of it and he was operating on a little over an hour’s sleep.
So it’s been a week since I posted last. I don’t really know where the time went.
October? It flew.
I have been really tired. The first half of the month I did some serious work, writing and thinking and a goodly bit of laundry. This latter half not so much in all those categories, although I have been cleaning (read: digging out) and doing some home projects so that’s good.
Just realized I forgot to eat lunch which, I promise you, does not happen often. I might never know where my purse is, but I always remember to get my chow. Will rectify this situation soon.
On Tuesdays the big kids go to an environmental science school while Eden spends the day with her cousin, Ren. I drove all over the world to get everyone to where they need to be and then spent a few seemingly unprofitable hours not writing “enough”. I felt discouraged, but didn’t want to go into the shame free for all that characterized my writing times of the past. Played with the dog, walked in the sun, cleaned the kitchen, wrote a little then drove to pick up the big kids.
I debated which library to go to: the one closer to the school or, the one I chose, which we usually visit. On the way I called my friend, Dan. He happened to mention the errand he was running and I was going to be driving right by where he was. I stopped by and we had a little visit.
It is a beautiful day. We commented on the weather and commiserated on what a crap Fall it was last year. He asked how my day was and I told him.
“That’s OK!” He practically shouted. “You chose to fill up your spirit and enjoy this beautiful weather. We live in Michigan! It’s fine that you gave yourself the day off.”
“But I gave myself last Tuesday too.”
“That’s fine!” He was insistent.
He is a professional musician and understands about getting stuck and finding strategies to navigate one’s insecurities. We talked about some ways for me to get back in the saddle without fear or self loathing.
Our visit was short as we both had other places to be. I stepped out of the van to hug him and thank him for being my performance coach. He waved it off, shouted good bye to the kids and then hopped into his car.
I have been thinking about community a lot. Ruminating would not be too big of a word. I have been thinking about the opportunities we have to be in each other’s, at times complete stranger’s, lives and how we use that power, how we choose or abdicate the roles to play we are endlessly given. I have been thinking about what God is calling me to give and to receive in my communities: my families, my church, my physical community, even in casual connections. I have been praying and listening and getting in my van and driving where I need to go and answering the phone when I would rather screen and yet screening sometimes and staying home too. I am trying to say Yes to God, when I am not sure what he is requesting.
Today, I drove a route I rarely travel and met a friend where he never goes. I know he didn’t accept a mission from God to ENCOURAGE ALISON but, given a chance, he did. He said Yes. And I did too.