She’s been keeping us on our toes. Getting her out of the bath, I laid her on my bed and ran for a diaper. You would not know I have been doing this gig for almost 10 years. When I got back and started to dry her off I noticed an ominous yellow stain. “Beansie did you pee?” “Yes,” was the complacent reply. I pulled up the towel and saw there was a little yellow stain on my coverlet, a smaller one on both sheets and the mattress pad and a tiny stain on the mattress itself. Argh.

“How could you wet my bed!” I said.

“Axcelly, it was the towole.” A pedant at two.

“Axcelly, you wet every layer on my bed.” I corrected.

She had trouble sleeping and Birdie evacuated the room around 9:00 to try and sleep on our bed. Around 9:30 I heard Beanie yelling for her “stistah”. I went in to check on her. She complained that her tummy hurt so I hauled her out. I was wrestling her into a pair of jammies when she said she had some poopie. That is how she announces her need for the facilities – as if the deed was already done. I checked her diaper and asked her if she needed to sit on the potty. “Yes, on my potty train.”

She sat there for a few minutes before Paul called me over to look at something that most adults would be relieved to excrete. (What a nasty verb.) There was some extensive wiping involved and then she was trying to wrestle the pot free from her chair, since pouring it in the toilet to flush is the main thrill, when her hand grazed the enormous poo sticking out. Paul and I both made sounds of pain and I hurriedly grabbed some more wet wipes and decontaminated her little paw.

Just file the two of us jammed into that tiny, smelly bathroom helping our two year old with her business under “You know you are a parent when…”

Ours is a very large file.

I have had a dream of someone inventing a little tiny hammer that could be used to gently, ever so gently, tap an exhausted and crazed child on the head and immediately induce sleep.

I have dreamed of a slightly larger one for Paul to tap me on head with when I need a nap but can’t let go or when I awake in the middle of the night and sleep continues to elude me.

If anyone has such a thing please oh please send several my way.

is my son, C. Riley. This morning I asked him to shut two doors I had left open on a cupboard in the living room.

He obeyed then whined, “But Mom, I hate it when you treat me like an orphan.”

Does anyone know how to make gruel?

Dear Friends,

Have you ever had an unsightly protrusion on your lip, something so large and hideous, rather like an infected pepperoni falling off your face, that you have seriously considered converting to Islam just so you can wear the burkha? I know this pain full well. Mind you I never did until I got married and my very cold sore prone husband transferred the virus to me and never had another for 10 years! I took up the herpes torch and baby, I got burned.

Now, I was no stranger to canker sores, which as they so openly state are sore, but they are hidden. It is one thing to need to lay off the chow because you can’t chew and it is another thing entirely to cause others to lose their appetites as the very sight of you immediately induces stomach pain.

For the longest time I swore by L-lysine, an amino acid in capsule, not tablet form. At the first awareness of your lip (If you suffer you know what I mean.) if you take several capsules you can sometimes avoid the cold sore. If you take one capsule several times a week you can avoid them all together. I don’t always remember to take them preventatively and there have been occasions where the cold sore still blooms despite my slamming capsule after capsule. Yesterday this was the scenario. I probably needed to take one an hour but after a couple doses I forgot and took a nap. I awoke in two zip codes. Terrible. I knew I needed to get the big guns.

Last month I felt one coming on and immediately hit the L-lysine. My friend Margaret was here and felt the beginnings of one too. She applied Abreva. Mine got a little red but hers didn’t form at all. This is a woman who is so frugal she buys clothing by the pound at thrift stores and looks very schnazzy, I will add. “You pay a ton, but it’s worth it.”

I remembered this as I read, “$13.68” on a teeny tiny box at Meijer and screwed my courage to the sticking point. Paul (just like Macbeth) chickened out and started fondling a box that was half the price. This man can be surprisingly miserly. You would think, having giving me this terrible plague, he would be hanging his head and saying sweetly, “Yes Pretty, anything to ease your suffering, Pretty. May I rub your feet?” He continued to read aloud the merits of the cheaper brand. I just grabbed the Abreva and headed for the register. As those of us in the know, know seconds count.

My physical pain was alleviated immediately. My psychic pain took about an hour. Because it had gotten so bad it hasn’t been the absolute miracle it might have, but I am very pleased.

I will strive to take the L-lysine regularly but it is a comfort to know I now have two swords in the arsenal.

I just hope this helps someone else.

For those in the audience as yet unmarried, cold sore prone-edness is something to run from like the plague it is.

(Don’t tell Paul.)

has closed it’s doors.

We have desks (the kids anyway). We have chairs (me too!) We nolonger have a pool table smack dab in the middle of our work space. Yea! Beanie even has a new table and chairs just her size that is her desk with an extra chair for a friend. She was all over that. Birdie tried to sit down and was quickly informed she is not a “fren” but a “stistah”. Birdie reasoned, “Sweetheart, I am your sister, but I can be your friend too” to no avail. Beanie runs a tight ship.

Her little corner is stocked with her dollhouse, blocks, Tinker Toys (on loan from her father), minature record player, mini cash register and a stack of puzzles. We are going to move up some books tomorrow and she will be set.

I am getting a handle on educating my kids: trusting God, taking it one day at a time, creating a clean and orderly environment in which to work and drinking lots of…water.

When we were in the research phase of homeschool I asked my doctor what he thought. Three of his kids homeschooled all the way through high school and one went to Christian junior high and high school. Homeschool is not his religion. I told him why we were considering it and asked what he thought. He said our reasons were sound and really encouraged me to keep praying and only do it if both Paul and I were in agreement.

I was back in the office several weeks ago and after our medical business was wrapped up and we were saying good-bye he asked the kids if they were ready to head back to school. “Actually we decided to homeschool.” I said.

He looked me right in the eye and said very soberly, “You’re going to do great. You are energetic and very organized.”

I started to tell him that was crazy talk and then stopped and just let his words pour over me like an annointing.

And then very very quietly I said “Thank you.”

You know when it feels like someone read your spirit and then says the one thing you need to hear but don’t even really believe?

I love when God speaks through his people and then puts his hand on my mouth so I will hear it.