The good thing about losing everything is that you get to buy all new stuff.
Surprisingly, this didn’t really excite me. I’ve never been much of a shopper and after the fire I was really clear on how little we needed. I didn’t want to rush out and buy a bunch of things. And yet there were little pockets of interest where my mind would go and rub its hands together in gleeful anticipation. One of these was small appliances.
In the kitchen of the house that burned I tried to keep the counters uncluttered. As I planned the new kitchen I thought carefully about my counter real estate. I loved my jadeite green Kitchen Aid stand mixer. My old kitchen was all white and the pop of color was so pretty and cheerful, but I could not find a replacement for my Kitchen Aid. Apparently it was a special Martha Stewart shade only offered through Williams Sonoma for a limited time. If it wasn’t going to be a pretty green I decided I wanted the mixer in the pantry.
Waring had a blender in jadeite that was just beautiful but we don’t use a blender often, which brought me back to a toaster. I did find a minty green one that was so pricey I would be embarrassed for you to know how much.
I hadn’t completely ruled out the blender and there was still the dim hope of finding the stand mixer on ebay, so I just thought about it from time to time. But I was leaning towards the ridiculously expensive toaster.
One day a large box was delivered to our door. It was addressed to Paul and I was so excited I think I called him at work to ask if it was OK for me to open it. He said it was something that he had ordered.
I had an immediate sense of foreboding which was confirmed as soon as I pulled this bad boy out of the box.
Holy Cheese and Crackers, Batman!
It boggled the mind and the senses. You can see that it’s a black plastic, two slot toaster with a…is that a GOITER?
Yes, my friends it is.
OK, it’s merely a goiter-like plastic appendage and it serves a purpose. That’s an egg poacher perched on the right side. See the steam gathering?
Back To Basics is the brand name however, as those illustrations on the side show, this toaster is anything but basic.
Below is Paul with Christopher, last summer. Doesn’t he look like a nice man?
He is a nice man.
Doesn’t he look like someone who, if he wants to poach an egg in a plastic goiter whilst toasting his bread you should just let him?
Thinking about it that way and looking at his kind and handsome face, I know we should. Especially when I remember that he ordered the toaster within months of someone burning down his house.
This wasn’t so clear to me when that plastic monstrosity was taking up half the counter at the rental house and leering at anyone who made the mistake of glancing at it. I need to remind myself that it was my house that someone set on fire as well.
We had all been hurt and PTSD is real, people. And yet, even without PTSD, I think Paul would have been tempted to order that toaster and I, almost certainly, would have pitched a fit.
When Paul came home that night I ranted how I wanted a four slot toaster, maybe a pretty one not this hideous, black plastic, bulbous nosed, two slotted one.
Paul told me I could buy the pretty one, still.
I complained about how much space it took up on our small counter. He said we could store it under the counter in one of the nearly empty cupboards and I realized I was being a jerk and apologized. Paul forgave me, as he has on so many other occasions, bless him. At the new house I found the perfect spot for it in a drawer at the end of the island just above the drawer where the bread and peanut butter and Nutella live. It’s almost like it was meant to be.
The kids loved it immediately. Paul makes them egg sandwiches almost every morning before school.
I want to suspend my snap judgments. I need to hold back my visceral disgust with things that intrigue or interest my family. I want to be more curious and open for all our sakes.
Do you have any suggestions?
Buy a toaster oven!!
Ok, they don’t come in pretty jadeite green colors, but I LOVE Mine. I can’t stand microwaved bread and if you want left overs toasty (crunchy toasty) it is perfect. Mine is a toaster/convection oven so it also defrosts pretty quickly. I’ve given up both the conventual toaster and the microwave for it and never want to go back. 🙂 then again, I don’t have a family, but I still think it would work.
A very funny article, funny that the offending goiter has become such a hit with the kids!
O!M!G! There was a time when I would have pitched a fit, too! But, thanks to my patient husband, I am learning to keep my mouth shut a little bit better every day. When something like a toaster with a goiter comes home with my husband I just try to remember how much that man loves me and how much I love him. The real turning point in my life came about when picking up his wet towel off our bed one morning after he had left for work. There were several things that came together that morning, mostly thinking about the wives who didn’t have their husbands come home after going to work on 9/11. All of a sudden that wet towel on the bed made me soooooo grateful that my dear, sweet husband was still around to leave his towel on the bed after his shower. From that day on, every time I pick up his towel and hang it back on the towel rack in the bathroom I think about how much I love him. On the occasional odd day when he actually hangs up his towel on his own I feel like my day is somehow off-kilter.
And the towel has become a symbol for me to be a bit more patient about things that my hubby does that irritate me. I certainly have not perfected my acceptance yet. But I’m trying, and getting a little better every time.
Being aware of the problem is the first step to fixing it. So you’ve got a start…
Jennifer, we really don’t toast that often. A toaster oven seems to be an East coast thing and those who have them seem to love them. 🙂
PamB, I just need to slow down…although I don’t know exactly how. I always get to asking for forgiveness but I’d prefer to avoid the fit altogether. Perhaps it’s like you said making a habit of gratitude for the people I love, especially in the daily little annoyances. There’s another area I’m practicing shutting my mouth just as a personal discipline, so hopefully it will translate to general self-control.
PamB, I wish I could hit “like” for your post. That is beautiful. Alison, really, it’s wonderful-no microwave and no toaster: Just my toaster oven!
Toaster oven, all the way, in my home. Didn’t grow up with one, but my husband did. It’s an ugly beast, but we do love the function. Best thing in the world for reheating pizza, toasted cheese sandwiches, bagels, etc.
Oh, yes, patience, grace, appreciating those whom we love and all that. Those are good things, too. But toaster ovens!
Thanks, Jen!
Alison, you’re on the right track with practicing the shutting of the mouth. I can do that so easily with people outside my family – keep my opinion to myself. So why is it so doggone hard to keep my mouth shut when it comes to my family? If I can do it with strangers and friends I should be able to figure out how to zip-it when it comes to interacting with the person I love most in the world!