I went to the doctor and didn’t have the strength to get dressed.  I pulled on jeans, but wore my pajama top under a sweat shirt of Paul’s.  I had come in to discuss my insomnia, with the hope of getting some sleeping pills.  Only a person who has been waking at three every morning would think that you can just waltz in and get drugs, without all sorts of procedures.  I had actually  hoped the doctor would call in a prescription, without needing an office visit.  Obviously that didn’t happen.  But it worked out well as I awoke today the sickest I have been. The doctor did get me hooked up with a plethora of things to get me through this illness and then recommended I do a sleep study when I’m better.  She said that anxiety and depression can be an underlying cause of sleeplessness and those would need to be considered and addressed if necessary.  

She looked at me with wide eyes as did the resident who accompanied her.  I always feel so vulnerable perched on the table and today I felt especially so.  I had taken no pains with my appearance and began to feel like the stereotype of the beleaguered housewife.  I had to reassure myself that it was OK to look like total crap because that’s how I feel and it was all I could do to get there.  Being a human is so humbling.

Eden was running around and dancing tonight before bed.  It was so good to see her like that.  She has been so sick.  Lydia is still feeling poorly, but better than this morning.

We are praying that Paul and Christopher don’t get sick and that we all have good, long, restorative sleep.