Having a kid with special needs, there have been times when I have hurt for myself, for what being his mom has cost me. And there have been times when I have hurt for and worried about what it costs others – his sisters, teachers, fellow students, even strangers. Then there are times when I forget about myself and everyone else and only think of him.
This is one of those times.
My heart hurts.
I am not worried. I am not in despair. We are not in crisis. We have had a happy day.
But my heart hurts for my son and what his impairments cost him.
It is right to mourn.
And to trust.
I believe God has a hope and a future for this child.
Today, that is enough.
it is intense
…to think of it all
but what you will see in time
is that the hearing loss
will cause other parts of him to
excel
for me, now,
i look at my hearing loss as something that forced my eyes to
see more intuitively
i have to look, really look
at every person who talks to me
i can’t just listen half way
i thank God for my loss
because it has made me a better person
a more caring and attentive friend/listener
in time, you will see that christopher will have extraordinary gifts come out of his limitation
((hugs)) alison and christopher
…and plans to prosper him, and not to harm him.
Amen and Amen!
The hearing loss isn’t what I am talking about. It is some other areas of concern that we are exploring, that, to some degree we have always known about, but hopefully will know more.
As Lydia said a few weeks ago, “Sometimes I just feel for him.” I don’t know why he has been given so many challenges…I choose to trust him to God and yet some days I hurt for him.
Thanks to all.
We each have our own junk. You know this. Christopher’s junk will help form who he is at the core of his being, just as mine has formed me and yours has formed you. God is faithful. He has begun a good work in that boy and he will follow through and complete it, just as he is completing each of us.
Let God, often through friends and family, bind up your hurting heart. Exchange your heavy burdens for His light ones and carry on, friend.
But yes, sometimes dressing a wound does sting a bit.
I meant to add one more thing:
Yes, dressing a wound does sting a bit–so it’s okay to say “ouch,” and even shed a tear.
(There’s no need to be freakishly stoic and go signing up for any martial arts classes.)
Again, thanks to all who commented – Ali, Amanda, Dan and Sherry.
Sherry, thanks and I get what you are saying.
Torey kicked Paul and me out of the house last night which helped everything. Today was a good day, full of and drama and love. The usual stuff.
mayhem – was the other thing our house was full of but the Church Lady Filter took it out.