Howdiddlyowdy

I am feeling really punchy. Paul worked late tonight and last night was a mayhem of games and sugar. Our entire house was sticky today. Everyone was tired, cranky and…sticky. I washed Beanie’s hands at least a thousand times.

I brought our mini trampoline (thank you Uncle Tanner) into the living room for the scholars to jump on when they needed to refocus. It became a junk magnet. The room was quite neat this morning and now it looks like a bunch of squatter’s moved in, which I guess we did. The upstairs is closed temporarily while we wait for the furnace guy to return. I won’t bore you with the details as I am saving all of them for another post.

One end of my counter is piled with books. I guess I am feeling really itchy and tired. I am about two minutes away from a certain monthly event and feeling it.

This discussion just transpired in the kitchen,

“Does it look like I am gaining weight?”

“No.”

“Am I just being mental because I am totally pre-menstrual and have consumed about 50 lbs of chocolate in the last few days.”

“Yes. You weighed yourself this morning. You know what it said.”

“Right. I am going to stop now.”

“Good.”

I need to go to bed. But I will leave you with this.

I lead a MOPS group. To quote C. Riley, “Mothers of Preschoolers, meaning MOPS” It is a ministry devoted to the care and support of mothers of really little kids, the sort that don’t speak so well, who soil themselves regularly and scream when a need arises instead of conversing rationally and making a simple request. I am passionate about motherhood and fatherhood too. Tonight I received a call from a woman in our church wondering when our group met and how it worked. I told her how we function and why. As we talked she started to tell me where she is right now as a mom. She is feeling tired and beaten down. I listened and welcomed her to just come and relax tomorrow. When we hung up she was sounding energized. Paul was at the computer when I went to hang up the phone. He said something sweet. I asked what motivated that. “I heard you out there talking to her, encouraging and welcoming her.” He was proud of me. I didn’t know he was listening, I was just doing my thing.

I am at the point where I want feedback. I would rather hear your perspective and be given an opportunity to see something I can’t yet see even if it is painful to acknowledge. If it is there, it is there, whether or not I realize it. Any feedback can be of value but this loving assessment was so sweet.

It has been an exhausting day, but I have loved my kids, been gentle and kind. I have yelled a bit, but I did not abuse and I washed sticky paws and faces the live long day. I took a stand and at the end of the day I was able to be a shelter for someone else and my husband heard me and loved me in it.

I am feeling tired and emotional and just grateful that some days I move and bend and dance in the difficulties and love my children as they are and then am given the opportunity to be a safe place for another young mom.

At the moment I am going to let it be OK that my living room is a mess and the dining room is still torn up from the project ongoing. I will not let that negate anything.

Good night.