Will I love you if you aren’t incredibly smart, if you don’t make me laugh, don’t entertain me? Will I love you if you don’t have a lot of money and that disparity between us makes me feel awkward? Will I love you when I feel guilty that you work so much and I get to stay home with my kids, knowing that you feel so guilty because you do? Will I love you in your need and keep showing you my own without patronizing?
I know I will be nice. I save my bitchiness and harshness for those who love me. I will be nice. I already care about you. I want to love you, but I don’t know exactly what that looks like. But I know One who knows everything. Since I want you to know Him I am going to trust Him to show me how to love you through my smallness, my insecurities and fears, through the disparities between us. Because it seems like there is some sort of us, I don’t know what we are exactly, but I am keeping my eyes open for the hand of God and I feel it on my back pressing me towards you.
Just like I told you there was nothing to do, but keep walking and He would show you the next step; I am going to take my own advice. This is me walking.
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