I had an opportunity to talk with someone last night at a picnic. She was hurting and was scared to be there. Of the hundred or so people at the event I was one of two she would have been comfortable talking with. My husband chose our seat. She and I hadn’t seen each other in a couple of years. I knew God placed me there to listen to her and to speak into her life. That could sound patronizing and that is not what I want to be. Even as we spoke I prayed that I would give all He wanted me to give with her and to receive all He had for me. I tried to be honest in my insecurities. I don’t have it all together but I am getting a taste of God’s love which is heady stuff.
I don’t know how to have this relationship but am willing to trust God and stand in the awkward feelings. I used to think I had to figure things out and then I didn’t know how and gave up. I am learning I just need to be willing to not know, to listen and obey.
My commitment is to love others. Today I was thinking about my conversation with this woman and just sort of checking in with my heart. Am I willing to press into a relationship that feels like work? I wanted to write my thoughts to deepen my commitment. It would be too easy to just let her drift away. I know she won’t pursue me. I think God is asking me to be a part of His pursuit of her. I am so grateful that He has fought for me and even if it costs me I will try to fight with Him for another.
“Am I willing to press into a relationship that feels like work?”
This is such a perfect spoken question. It is hard to launch into a deeper connection with someone, when you know it will be high maintenance for you. Your prayerful heart and attitude is great. Whether you play a more intentional role in her life – or if you continue as the occasional ‘bump into each other’ person at picnics and such – I pray those times are meaningful for you both. 🙂
Derrrr… I really did mean “perfectly spoken.”
[Perfectly spoken by you. Ineptly written by me. hahaha)
I am so willing to write things incorrectly. This was not always the case. You might have noticed I am soooo NOT afraid of the run on sentence. Since about 1977 I have been an excellent speller but lately I am stumbling. I keep trying to spell story with an “e”. And what if I did???!!! You would understand. We would all survive. Sherry might push up her imaginary glasses and think, “I’m surprised that Alison is such a ridiculous speller”. But we would make it.
Actually, I’ve been laughing at myself over the last couple of years, too. My spelling is getting sloppy, my grammar inconsistent. And, like you, I don’t really care. Just knowing all the rules at one point should give us the freedom to now break them at will; that’s what I think, at least.
No imaginary glasses here.
High-maintenance friendships. Oh, that’s a tough one for me. I tend to flee them immediately, but perhaps I need to listen for God’s leading a little more often.
Great. Thanks for the conviction.