Alison Hodgson

Expert on the etiquette of perilous times.

  • Blog
  • Books
  • Calendar
  • Speaking
  • Contact
  • Home

Why You Should Stop Watching Reality TV:

September 7, 2012 by Alison Hodgson Leave a Comment

For the very same reason, when you come upon a car accident, you choose to look away. Sure, there is that ghoulish urge but an adult doesn’t press her face against the window, mouth breathing and staring.

It’s as simple as that.

A couple years ago I asked my sister, “What’s up with the KarDUHshians? Who are they?” I knew them from tabloids at the checkout and the “news”feed on Comcast, but I couldn’t figure out what they had to do with Bruce Jenner and why they were on television.

“You mean the KarDASHians?” Torey asked.

“Oh, is that how you pronounce it?”

“Yeah.” And then she brought me up to speed.

I don’t understand how people (who aren’t in a coma, being held at gunpoint, or bed bound and without a remote, ) can watch these programs. The only way I can watch a show about vacuous people is if it’s a comedy and there’s a script handled by brilliant writers.

If my nutritional palate was as finicky as my intellectual one, I would never have had a problem with my weight.

And yet, I’m beginning to reconsider. I read an article recently on the salaries of various “reality” television “stars” and the figures are compelling. The Jersey Shore cast started at around $10,000/episode and now are up to six figures per. Yesterday I figured out who Honey Boo Boo is reading articles about the Democratic National Convention and there was one about her ratings being better than Bill Clinton’s.

I’ll tell you, I was concerned when I read the scandalous amount TLC is paying her family. The Thompsons are making $40,000 the entire SEASON plus some small location fee for filming in their home. TLC should be ashamed…in so many ways.

Next week my brother arrives to begin filming a short documentary about my son Christopher. The first week is interviews and the second is the B roll. He’ll be following Christopher around getting candid moments and beautiful/interesting images to give a break from talking heads.

I’m pretty much considering it my audition reel for reality tv. Hey, life is expensive: the bigs kids will be going to college soon; my mom lives with us now; those dogs love the vet and are constantly finding ways to supplement their annual checkups; do you even know how much it costs to dress a man who is 6’6″ and weighs less than 500 lbs!

So anyway, I’m in.

If you know a reality television scout or producer please send him or her right my way. I don’t have a resume, but let them know my show would be content RICH: lots of coffee drinking; a goodly amount of staring vacuoulsy into the air following by frenzied typing; HOURS of reading; a mere tinch of cleaning and cooking; A LOT of driving around when I can share my deep thoughts on EVERYTHING! And you all know the kids! Plus the dogs! We’re golden. And Paul’s a total looker.

I guess the real title of this post should be: “Why You Should Stop Watching Reality TV until I get MY Show!”

Can’t wait!

XOXO

If you support my quest, please share this post!!!!!!!!

I know the exclamation points above were gratuitous but I’m a “reality”” star” (in the making) and I am NOT afraid to go OTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Filed Under: Christopher, mayhem, my professional life

Chocolate, Sweets and Cycles

June 8, 2012 by Alison Hodgson 1 Comment

Today Eden stepped into the van and noticed an empty bag of a chocolate chips. “Who left this?” She asked as much as accused.

“Who do you think?” I said.

“Christopher.”

“He’s got quite a sweet tooth.” I said.

“I think he has that thing you told me about that girls and women, who are 11 to 50, get every month, where they want chocolate.”

“No, not that. He just craves sweets.” I said, trying not to laugh.

“I noticed that you said ‘Girls’ or ‘Women’ and not ‘People.’ Why is that?”

“It’s only women or girls who have what we were talking about.”

“Oh, well I think Rennie and Willa (cousins, 8 and 4 respectively) are going to crave candy.”

There was quiet for a moment as she thought.

“I’m more of a chocolate person, myself.”

Me too, Baby, me too.

Filed Under: Christopher, Eden, laughter

How to Climb the Tallest Tree and Walk the Longest Road

June 4, 2012 by Alison Hodgson 1 Comment

This maple is the meeting place I established, years ago, in case of a fire.  Thankfully, the morning our house was set on fire, we fled our home together and yet, without thinking, ran to the designated maple.

I’d like to highlight this: take a second, make a plan and then picture yourself enacting it. I know that doesn’t seem like enough, but it’s amazing what kicks in in an emergency.

We’re in the final days of school.  Last weekend both of the big kids had a lot of homework, mostly studying for finals this week. Christopher is doing much better with personal organization and self-motivation, but still benefits from re-direction. After church yesterday I couldn’t find him and asked Paul if he knew where he was.

“I thought I heard him out front.” Paul said.

I had scanned the front yard and there was no sign, but then I heard Christopher’s distinctive voice from a strange distance. I walked outside and there he was.

Between the fire and the rebuild we lost four mature maples, one of which was the kids’ second climbing tree that Eden never got to climb. To climb this tree, even the big kids need a ladder to get to the lowest branches. Yesterday Christopher nailed a few boards and scrabbled up into the highest branches. From this aerie he shouted at birds and passing cars. He was delighted when I found him and took his picture.

“The boards I nailed are not very secure.”  He said. I walked around the tree and saw them. They were too small and his big feet had pushed them up and down—not secure at all—and yet he got up as high as the tree would hold him.

Here Christopher is outside of church with his portable loom. One of his electives this semester was a ceramics class and they’re finishing out the year with a weaving project.  All week long he has been dragging this loom around everywhere in order to meet the deadline when they are cutting and binding their hangings in class today.

We had him take ceramics because we were looking for an elective that was hands on and didn’t have a lot of homework. His support teacher was nervous because this art teacher runs a very tight ship and has been known to kick kids out of her classes with the slightest provocation. I pushed a little and the support teacher met with the art teacher who, when she heard about Christopher, said “This class will be perfect for him.” And it has.

His other elective this semester was theater which was selected for the same reasons as ceramics, but has not gone as ideally. The entire class culminates in a series of one act plays the students produce. I assumed Christopher would do something technical and behind the scenes and was surprised to learn he was cast in one of the plays. As I ran lines with him I was even more surprised he had the largest part.

“How did this happen?” I asked.  I couldn’t believe the teacher assigned him the most lines.

“I chose it. But it is a decision I now regret.” He said.

He plays “Death” opposite “Life”, “Youth” and “The Girl”. It’s a terrible play and “Death” is the biggest and best part, which should tell you something. Youth and The Girl are would-be suicides. Death and Life throw the die for both their lives and Life wins. You will wish she didn’t; they’re both so horrible.

“I think my classmates are going to be surprised at how well I know my part.” He has been the weakest link up until now and his fellow thespians have been giving him some push back.  Yesterday we focused on pacing and interpretation, which we will continue  tonight and tomorrow.

When you first understand that your child has special needs, it can feel like your path has been diverted. Of course parents of a typical child will tell you that there are turns in every road.  And yet, with a child with special needs, the journey can be so arduous with no end in sight. The relationship continually changes (hopefully!) and evolves (more hope!) but is it ever really over—for any parent—until it’s over?

Four more days of tenth grade.

Further up and further in.

Filed Under: About a Boy, Christopher, hope, how to prepare for a house fire, school, Thanksgiving

Reading is our drug of choice

May 21, 2012 by Alison Hodgson 2 Comments

This is Christopher at church. Some Sundays he brings the mug he made in Ceramics class. The look on his face is reserved for when he’s indulging a request of mine (posing with his mug for a picture) but doesn’t mind.

Tomorrow is Christopher’s sixteenth IEP (Individualized Education Program). This is the plan that is created to determine what services a child in Special Ed will receive and what accommodations will be made to support the child. This is also where goals are established for the coming school year. The goals, whether or not they are achieved, reveal the child’s progress.

Last week he took a vocabulary test (PPVT-4 for those in the know) and scored the age equivalence of a 25-year-old. Christopher is sixteen.
That’s pretty impressive for any kid, but for a young man who is hard of hearing it’s flat out amazing.
I’m proud of my boy.

Filed Under: assessments, Christopher, hope, reading, Reading is my drug of choice, Thanksgiving

Spree’s End

February 1, 2012 by Alison Hodgson Leave a Comment

Christopher called me from school today.  He was on his cell phone which spared me the visceral shot of adrenaline that follows seeing his school on the caller i.d.

“I’m afraid our spree of no homework has ended.” This was said abruptly and woefully.

“Oh that’s too bad.”  I said.  Personally, I was suffused with relief that I was not speaking with a. his support teacher or b. his assistant Principal.

“…because I have the bad luck of being assigned Civics.”

Now here I had a jolt of misgiving.  Civics was first semester, as today is the third day of second semester, he has no business having any homework there.

“Did you mean ‘Economics’?” I asked.

“No, no I’m not in Geometry,” he said, “I’m in fourth hour.”

We have these sorts of conversations on the phone, all the time and even face to face.  Being hard of hearing stinks.  And being fine of hearing whilst conversing with the former ain’t no picnic.

“E-CO-NOM-ICS!”  I enunciated, “Is that where you have homework?”

“Oh yeah!  Yeah!’ He said.

“Well you can do that,”  I said.  “I bet you can do that easily.  And if you need help I know Dad would love to give it.”  Economics was Paul’s major in college and his life’s passion.  Economics is not to be confused with finance.  I don’t have a ready metaphor for the difference, but I’m sure he does. It takes all kinds, right?

“OK, Mom.”  Christopher said.

“You should probably get back to work, Buddy.”

“OK, Mom.”

“I love you.”  I said, “Have a great afternoon.”

“OK.  I love you too.”

I have expended more adrenaline raising this kid than…I don’t have the strength to make an apt comparison and my sleep debt probably rivals what the U.S. owes the Chinese and, I’m thankful to remember, it’s worth every ounce, every minute.  He is. Worth it.

Filed Under: Christopher, love, worry

  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • …
  • 8
  • Next Page »

Let’s Connect!

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter

Email Newsletter

Sign up to receive email updates and special notices.

Recent Posts

  • 7 Great Posts to Help You Clean and Declutter Your Home
  • Christmas 2015
  • Survival Diary: The Accident
  • What to do after a Concussion? Not This.
  • How To Figure Out Your Career: Disaster Can Be Your Guidance Counselor

Search

Archive

  • July 2017 (1)
  • December 2015 (1)
  • October 2013 (1)
  • September 2013 (1)
  • August 2013 (1)
  • July 2013 (2)
  • June 2013 (2)
  • April 2013 (3)
  • March 2013 (3)
  • February 2013 (1)
  • January 2013 (1)
  • December 2012 (3)
  • September 2012 (3)
  • July 2012 (4)
  • June 2012 (7)
  • May 2012 (7)
  • April 2012 (7)
  • March 2012 (3)
  • February 2012 (6)
  • January 2012 (10)
  • December 2011 (5)
  • November 2011 (1)
  • October 2011 (1)
  • August 2011 (1)
  • July 2011 (2)
  • June 2011 (4)
  • May 2011 (1)
  • March 2011 (1)
  • February 2011 (1)
  • January 2011 (1)
  • November 2010 (1)
  • September 2010 (1)
  • August 2010 (3)
  • July 2010 (5)
  • May 2010 (1)
  • April 2010 (1)
  • February 2010 (1)
  • January 2010 (1)
  • December 2009 (3)
  • November 2009 (1)
  • October 2009 (2)
  • September 2009 (3)
  • August 2009 (4)
  • July 2009 (2)
  • June 2009 (6)
  • May 2009 (3)
  • April 2009 (6)
  • March 2009 (5)
  • February 2009 (1)
  • January 2009 (11)
  • December 2008 (10)
  • November 2008 (8)
  • October 2008 (11)
  • September 2008 (10)
  • August 2008 (8)
  • July 2008 (13)
  • June 2008 (14)
  • May 2008 (17)
  • April 2008 (19)
  • March 2008 (29)
  • February 2008 (27)
  • January 2008 (30)
  • December 2007 (19)
  • November 2007 (14)
  • October 2007 (9)
  • September 2007 (15)
  • August 2007 (18)
  • July 2007 (13)
  • June 2007 (13)
  • May 2007 (23)
  • April 2007 (19)
  • March 2007 (8)
  • February 2007 (7)
  • January 2007 (15)
  • December 2006 (15)
  • November 2006 (26)
  • October 2006 (8)
  • September 2006 (17)
  • August 2006 (20)
  • July 2006 (11)
  • June 2006 (20)
  • May 2006 (17)
  • April 2006 (15)
  • March 2006 (30)
  • February 2006 (13)
  • January 2006 (17)
  • December 2005 (15)
  • November 2005 (30)
  • October 2005 (33)
  • September 2005 (25)
  • August 2005 (19)
  • July 2005 (13)
  • June 2005 (24)
  • May 2005 (6)

Copyright © 2023 · Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in