Alison Hodgson

Expert on the etiquette of perilous times.

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This whole no internet at home deal is really putting a hitch in my blogging get along. We have been relying upon the kindness of strangers, family and friends and their WiFi which has been fine enough for reading email but not so hot for replying cogently, if at all, and certainly not for blogging.

Overall it is well with us, but I cannot get thee close enough world wide web!
Technically we have phone service, except it doesn’t work. I had to place several calls to schedule a technician and then asked Paul to go down to the “network interface device” to verify that the problem was not our equipment or AT&T’s network. He came back up almost immediately as I was on hold with Verizon trying to get us wireless.
“It takes a screwdriver to open it,” he said
I think you all know that I have embraced this fire-induced clutter free life style as cheerfully as possible, but minimalism has its limits. (Bah dum bum!)
My kingdom for a screwdriver.
I just looked at Paul, shrugged and held the phone at him. He groaned and went to look around. We’ve had many of these shining little marital moments since the fire.
Fortunately he found a screwdriver in the basement and verified that the problem was with our wiring, scheduled a technician who is going to come some time between now and Wednesday. Whoopee thank you.
I was chitchatting with Amber at Verizon who was thrilled to help me get online. I would need a device which, if a signed a 2 year contract, was FREE, with a 1 year contract and some mail-in rebates, was $70 and, in order to go month to month, was $270. I called Peggy, our private adjuster, to get the go ahead, before I raced to the nearest Verizon store and then back in order to get online in the comfort of my rental home.
Alas, it was not to be; she needs to present it to my insurance adjuster to avoid him denying payment in the future which meant I had to drive somewhere to get online to email her the terms that I just outlined above for her to forward to my insurance adjuster who is on vacation until Tuesday.
Everything we do requires permission and documentation and at least 5 phone calls, but the universe seems to prefer 23. I prefer osmosis.
I will be back soonish and be much more cheerful. I don’t want to be that gloomy lady whose house burned down.

http://alisonhodgson.com/2010/09/234/

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Yesterday I spent 3 hours on the phone with Comcast and AT&T in an attempt to port our old number to our rental home.

Oh the humanity!
In the process I learned that the only internet service available at the rental is dial-up. The family’s collective jaw dropped. We haven’t had any service for the week and a half that we’ve been in the rental, but we had hope for the future.
It really is the little things that get you. I can live with almost all my earthly possessions being destroyed but trying to get phone and internet almost undid me. We don’t have either yet. But I refuse to be undone.

http://alisonhodgson.com/2010/08/237/

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Kids, it’s getting ugly over here.  I haven’t had a full night’s sleep in at least two weeks.  Last night I got into bed at 7:30 to read to Eden and passed out a little after 8.  I awoke at 11:30 and snuggled next to Paul who obligingly lifted up his arm to give me passage.  
“Were you awake?”  I asked.
“I just went to the bathroom.”
So that was it.  He frequently wakes me up using the facilities despite every ninja like caution, but it gave me pause since I had come to at 9:30 when he had gotten into bed with his laptop and  I asked him time before drifting back to sleep.  This meant he needed up again less than two hours after going to bed.  He’s in his 40’s now, but I was hoping his prostate would make the long haul…or at least to 50.
“I think you need to see a urologist.”  I told him.
“What!”  He removed his arm and rolled over.
I told him my concern.
“What are you talking about!  I haven’t been to the bathroom since I went to bed!”
“You said you just went!”
And then I remembered that I married a madman who frequently talks in his sleep, sounding as lucid as I am until he becomes enraged, starts recanting things he said one minute previously and rolls over in a huff.  This is usually when my amnesia clears and I roll over too feeling maritally doomed.
I was still awake at 4:00 when he got up to use the facilities for real. When he returned I related our earlier exchange.  He laughed and went back to sleep.  I’m not sure when I passed out finally, but I awoke at 10:00 feeling like a brick wall had fallen on my head.    I still feel foggy and grey though the sun is shining and it’s a beautiful day.
On the up side I’m becoming an expert in Roman, early American and 20th century Chinese history, which would be great if I was a professor or something.  My occupation as human/wife/mother/homekeeper doesn’t really have much of a call for varied historical specialties.
“My kingdom (and by kingdom I mean anything I got left) for a horse (and by horse I mean a good night’s sleep)!”  That would be Richard the III on whose character historians sharply disagree…
I forgot I’ve got English history down pretty much cold, as well as the history of the English language and I’m starting to bone up on 16th century Holland…
This is probably a cry for help.

http://alisonhodgson.com/2009/03/315/

An Open Letter to January II

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Dear January,

Well done.  We are in double digits and the sun is shining.  I hope you noted that there were absolutely no complaints from we when it was below zero and sunny, nor when it was grey and snowing.  I am willing to give too.  This is a relationship and we both know this is not Florida; it’s Michigan.  
In review:
Grey and wickedly cold – never
Wavering between snow and rain, i.e. sleet – no good
Nose searing cold, no snow and grey skies – don’t even think about it
Nose searing cold and sunny skies – acceptable
Crisp cold and sunny skies – excellent
Grey skies and a soft and gentle snowfall – perfectly fine
Thank you for your consideration.  I know we exchanged some harsh words whilst working this out – that’s what the professionals call “tough love”.  I am committed to you even when you are stupid and thoughtless and cause me such needless pain.  I’m not giving up on you – you brought me Eden, for which I will be eternally grateful.
As those High School Musical Kids are always singing, “We’re all in this together”.  And by “all” I mean you, me and the rest of Michigan.
Cordially,
Alison

An Open Letter to January

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Dear January,

I don’t really know what to say to you, without swearing, but this is a family show, so I must – for the children.
January, January, January!  Why do you have to be like this?  I don’t mind the snow or the cold – it’s winter – but would it kill you to be a little more sunny?  Who benefits from the grey?
No one.
Tomorrow, if it’s not snowing, it.better.be.sunny.
Or else.
Sincerely,
Alison