I got up around 5 yesterday morning. You know you haven’t been sleeping well when you awake at 5 and are so grateful it is not 4. So I got online and banged out a brilliant blog. Really, it was good. It might have brought peace in our time, saved every marriage, made everyone ever so slightly better looking. I’m telling you it was amazing. For the point I wanted to make I needed to tell a little back story and so I did. I was just getting to the good part, to the place where life as we all know it was going to drastically improve when the power went out and I lost the whole stinking thing.
I had to walk away. There was no retrieving it and I am sorry, for all of us. Know it was there and perhaps some day I will be able to write it again.
Why I have been sleeping terribly I realized is that I am on the verge of a big life shift. Beginning tomorrow I am homeschooling my kids. To nutshell it, God floated the possibility by me last winter and I said “No. Thank you. Really, NO thank you.”
But the thought lingered and so I opened myself to it by prayer and started listening hard. Paul did too. And here we are: God took me through refusal to consideration to resignation to peace to excitement and then I dove into anxiety. I figured this out a week into terrible sleep and the realization that I nolonger have fingernails. Last night I prayed, laid down fear, committed to trust and polished my distressed nails.
Today at church He encouraged me through songs, the sermon, prayer and more songs. He is so good. I am going to trust and obey Him.
As always, if God brings me to mind please pray and if you catch me wearing a denim jumper promise you’ll throw me in a van and race to AnnTaylor.